Something Great

Arsene Wenger cobbled together starting lineups with spit and duct tape and Denilson and somehow the team dragged its ass over the finish line in third or fourth.

Friday, August 21, 2009

What We Knew, Didn't Know and This Weekend

I was 90 seconds away from calling the Chelsea v. Hull City fiasco. I had even parlayed my Hull prediction into a full post from Jim with the title, "why Juan is smarter than me." Drogba left me with nothing instead. Damn you Didier.

Then Hull went and got worked over by Tottenham, more on them later, making my top table prediction a foolhardy one. Fear not Hull-ites, only 2 of your next 12 games are against top 6 teams (from last year of course). That's partly why I predicted you'd get off to a hot start, but hey, I'm just a crazy asshole anyway right! (sigh. so bitter...)


What we knew;

  • Michael Owens does in fact, suck. Moreover, United's woes in front of goal is no fluke. Their goal totals in the Premiership over the last three championship years are in decline - 83, 80, and 68 last year. This is with Cristiano, of course, and he's kind of a goal-scorer. This year they're on pace for 19! Arsenal, on the other hand, is on pace for 190. This analysis makes it clear that United will struggle this year and Arsenal will break every record imagineable. Annnnnnd... done.
  • TLOCA is a bit pessimistic when it comes to Arsenal. I'll come down off the ledge if we get three from a starving Portsmouth team this weekend and I'll buy you a drink if we beat United in 2 weeks. Until then, I'm enjoying the breeze up here.
  • Chelsea is really annoying. FFLampard hasn't even gotten going yet.
  • Adebayor loves money.

What we didn't know
  • That Arsenal's Denilson and Song have been doing work in the offseason. I would have thrown Bendtner in there as well but he played as himself against Celtic. Arsenal's successes this year have come without key contributors; Arshavin has been solid but stymied in the final third and the same goes for Van Persie. Fabregas has clearly stepped up to the challenge but he tends to get off to hot starts. The EPL has and always will be about depth and the final half of the season so let's not crown Arsenal yet.

  • Tottenham looks very crisp. They've created 50 scoring chances in two games and look unfortunately fluid in attack mode. Aaron Lennon looks like he's made a jump and so does Jermaine Defoe. I don't like this one bit.

  • That Birmingham and Burnley would look so frisky. Birmingham surprised me with their poise and build-up against United in their 1 nil loss and Burnley did the unthinkable just a few days ago. The confounder here is that they both looked good against United so we'll have to wait a few more games to absolve them of relegation talks.

  • There have been 16 games played thus far and none of them have ended in a draw. Last year, 26.3% of matches ended a draw. That's kind of weird**, no?

This weekend;

Arsenal vs. Portsmouth - No points in two games and the schedule doesn't get easier for the Mouth. They have Citeh, Bolton, Aston Villa, Everton, Wolves, Tottenham coming up - all losable games. Ouch.

Birmingham vs. Stoke - The friskies collide to see who will be crowned most frisky.

Citeh vs. Wolves - The more we all see Manchester City, the better.

Wigan vs. ManUtd - a must-win this early in the season? More on this in a future post.

Liverpool vs Aston Villa (monday) - my guess is we'll leave with no further answers about either team but thoroughly entertained.





Until then

____________________________________________
**In fact, the probability of 16 games all ending with a win/loss result is .0076, or, under 1 in a 100 chance. 1 in 128 to be exact.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Sally Can Wait, She Knows It's Too Late As She's Walking On By

"Lady-Luck was riding [Liverpool] reverse cowgirl all season long and they still finished 6 points adrift."
-TLOCA

--"Liverpool was not lucky at all."
---Comments
___________________________________________________________

During the Euro's 2008 a Turkish player earned one of my all-time favorite nicknames. Semih Senturk, the Lifeguard. If you were watching the Turks in the Euros you'll never forget their knack for the late goals. Perhaps "lucky" isn't the best word to describe it, but it's certainly something.

In the 2008 EPL season, Liverpool did their best Turkey impression. In the 80th minute or later, Liverpool snatched the lead to win 4 times. As if that weren't enough, they came from down a goal to win in the 80th minute or later another 2 times. Here are the who they beat, by whom, and when:

Sunderland, 83, Torres
Middlesbrough, 90+, Gerrard
ManCity, 90+, Kuyt
Wigan, 80 and 85, Riera and Kuyt (down one to win by one)
Portsmouth, 85 and 90+, Kuyt and Torres (down one to win by one)
Fulham, 90+, Benayoun
Chelsea, 81 and 82, Lukas Kuyt (draw)
Arsenal, 90, Benayoun (draw) :(

That's an astounding 16 points earned after the 80th minute. They finished the season with 86 total.

The next closest is, of course, Manchester United with 5 victories after the 80th minute (and no draws).

Sunderland, 90+, Vidic
Stoke City, 83, Tevez
Bolton, 90+, Berbatov
Aston Villa, 80 and 90+, Ronaldo and Macheda (down one to win by one)
Wigan, 86, Carrick

for 11 points. Chelsea and Arsenal only completed the late game magic 3 times for wins and Arsenal was the only team of the big four not have come back from the dead (down 1 into the 80th to win).

So I guess what I meant to impart is, since Pool still finished 6 points back and also snatched up 5 more cardiac thrillers than who they were chasing, it's not inconceivable that this year they return to earth. With no major signings and only departures (enter stage left: Arsenal), I predict a down year for Liverpool.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Schedules and Prediction's That Are Likely to Fail

Manchester United
I heard a staggering statistic the other day when I was watching the Community Shield match. In the previous 2 seasons, Cristiano and Carlito Tevez combined for 102 goals for Manchester United (67 and 35 respectively). They are also without Van Der Sar for some time. Here are there first 10 games:

Birmingham
at Burnley
at Wigan
Arsenal
at Tottenham
City
at Stoke
Sunderland
Bolton
at Blackburn

There are 7 ho-hum games in there for an uneventful 18-21 points. And three worrisome-but-could-be-blow-out games in there as well. My final answer is 24 points. If you want more analysis you're going to have to wait because I have absolutely no clue what to think of this team. United lost their identity, without argument, and they're ageing stars have aged one more year. Is Rooney capable of picking up the load? Because I know Berbatov is not. Valencia is a bruiser, which is to say, not exactly the United type. The man is huge by the way, just absolutely ripped. I'm scarred.


Liverpool
"Lucas - 'I can fill Alonso void'"

"Arhancet - 'LMAO!'"

Is it possible to write off a Liverpool team that had such a good year (all things considered) before this season even starts? The answer is yes. And the reason why is because Lady-Luck was riding them reverse cowgirl all season long and they still finished 6 points adrift. And they loved it. I have a hard time imagining Ms. Luck being so kind this year again. Here are their first 10:

at Tottenham
Stoke City
Aston Villa
at Bolton
Burnley
at West Ham
Hull City
at Chelsea
at Sunderland
Manchester United

That's pretty brutal (but wait, the best is yet to come). I count only 5 guarantees in there. 1 volatile, just absolutely unpredictable game against Hull City (my sleeper to win the EPL). 2 of the big four and 2 against the frisky six. My final answer is 21 points and that's not at all a bad thing.


Chelsea
I have them winning the league although I'll never admit it. This team would get choked by Dylon (I spit hot fire) because in the past two years they've been so close. Too close really. Drobga is happy, Anelka seems to hate life a little less, Ballack is surprisingly fit (for ze German National team), Lampard is FFL (Frank F*&^ing Lampard), and I really like the Zhirkov signing. Not to mention Deco, a healthy Joe Cole, Essien, Carvalho, Bosingwa, and John Terry.
Ugh. Here are there first 10 games:

Hull City
at Sunderland
at Fulham
Burnley
at Stoke City
Tottenham
at Wigan
Liverpool
at Aston Villa
Blackburn

Allow me to go on record with them losing to Hull City, panic at the disco, and then winning their remaining 9 games. My final answer is 26 points. And if you're clever, you'll realize you can only get to that number by winning 8 games and drawing 2, but I digress.


Arsenal
Are you ready for murder's row? At least for the first half of the ten. Cuz oh my goodness:

at Everton
Portsmouth
at ManUtd
at ManCity
Wigan
at Fulham
Blackburn
Birmingham
at West Ham
Tottenham

(Yes that is a picture of Gisele and yes she does appear to be a gunners fan.)

We could go our first 4 games without a single point, bust out of the Champions League and still be in September. That would cause me to fly to St. Louis and hang myself outside of Jim's apartment wearing nothing but my Carlos Vela jersey. Jim would go outside, see what has happened, and with the gun he's been carrying because of Arsenals start, shoot himself in the head. We'd make BBC front page and Arsene Wenger would be quoted as saying we made a hasty decision. Damn you Arsene. Damn you. My final answer is 24 points.

That leaves the standings at;

Hull City - 28
Chelsea - 26
Man Utd - 24
Arsenal - 24
Liverpool - 21




T-minus 2 days!!!! I'd be lying if I denied having an erection. Two days.

Monday, August 3, 2009

T-minus 12 days

The beautiful game returns in only twelve days. Twelve! Less than 90 days ago Arsenal faded out of memory with a meaningless 4-1 win over Stoke City and with that left behind a lingering sensation of disappointment. The parallels between Arsenal last season and a regretful hook-up are plentiful.

Before the night began, and while you were still sober, you had already decided that you weren't going to do it, she's not worth it, done. Decided.
Before last season Arsenal lost Flamini and Hleb with no replacements. Jim and I knew this was a problem. We'd say things like, "Who's going to play alongside of Fabregas?" Or, "I know we'll miss Hleb. I just know it."

Then... you start drinking.

Arsenal started off with beer; a nice win over West Brom, a pleasant outing against Fulham. Shotgunned one against NewCastle (that was fun). Beat up on Blackburn. Come from behind against Bolton! Uh oh. I'm feeling it... and it feels good. There aren't many feelings in this whole world that can beat buzzed off of beer. Then the Carling Cup happened - we did some shots, and oh shit, Jim and I were both drunk. Carlos Vela played the role of that friend who shows up to the party late, needs to catch up, and needs someone to do those shots of tequila with. And just like that friend you know in the back of your mind that whether or not you love him or hate him, what just happened throws this whole night up in the air. "Let's make some bad decisions tonight!" you joke. But still, your fate isn't sealed just yet. You can stop here and enjoy the night.

Those shots just settle down and guess who comes walking over - That Girl. Don't worry, you decided not to hook up with her. The reasons are obvious. You start up conversation and realize, she looks good.
Hull city wins 2-1 on a wonder goal. It's a fluke we said. These things happen. Whatever. Anyway, the real night is starting - Champions League! And you leave for the bar.

The girls don't pay for the cab, typical, and Sunderland draws 1-1. But whatever, you've made it, and rescued a point. These things seem trivial but it's all part of a season.

You make it past the bouncer, get inside and before you know it, Low by Flo rida and T-pain comes on and the grinding has begun. On the bar-TV show highlights of Arsenal beating Fenerbahce 5-2. It's gonna be a good night, yes I will do that shot of Beam.

Well well, who's this? Girl in the dress keeps looking over here. Oh my gosh she is. I should approach. She clearly wants to talk, I should approach. What will I say? Oh, oh, I know, I'll say, "hey, what's up?" No. That's horrible. "How's it going," is way better. Way better? That sounds square. I'll say, "..." wait a second? Where did she go? F#$%! Tottenham 4, Arsenal 4. I need a drink to forget this terrible luck (no you don't). One more down the hatch. Oh come on! Ms. Dress Girl is talking to some other dude now. Arsenal 1, Stoke City 2. Tequila please, Montezuma Blue. Ehhh. Nice (no, it wasn't).

Begin fragmentory black-out.
Arsenal 1, United 2 - Girl spills drink on your shirt.
Arsenal 3, Wigan 0 - It was a vodka tonic, no stain!
Arsenal 0, Aston Villa 2 - But your shirt is all wet and girls laugh at you as you leave the bathroom.
You're feeling pretty dizzy. Not good. Definitely shouldn't have done that last one... Manchester Citasdfkjf... Chelsejaskksk... Aston Villa at the death to steal two points. Time to go throw up.

Glass of water at the bar, Arsenal 1, Everton 1, and let's see if we can salvage this season. The Premiership didn't matter anyway, we were here for the Champions League. Let's get it together, Roma is up next.

Leave the bar for the after party at, excellent, FA's house. That FA Cup sure is a cutie. Wouldn't mind getting with her. The mere thought gives me a second wind. Arsenal 4, Cardiff City 0 (Eduardo brace). And what's this? Oh my goodness, at the afterparty is Ms. Dress Girl! This could be an epic night after all! Arsenal signs Arshavin. Damn, she has a boyfriend, but clearly not for long, they don't look happy. Arshavin is cup-tied.

The boot and rally works well as the budlight goes down without a problem. Everything tastes like water now anyway. Great conversation with FA Cup, she's always been a flirt. Always there, but for some reason it just doesnt mean that much to you. We all have those girls. Not to mention that Ms. Dress Girl is alone, the boyfriend has left. Ah yes, you remember why you came here in the first place. Arsenal squeek by Roma on penalty kicks.

Can this happen? Can we actually win the Champions League? Is Ms. Dress Girl really coming over to talk to me on the couch? The party is dying down, this is when moves are made.

"Hey there," she says as she sits down on the couch, "you must be Lucasz Fabianaski."
"Hahaha, no, who's that? I'm actually Arsene Wenger," you reply. "Where are you from with an accent like that?"
"Liverpool." She replies hastily. "You may know my older brothers, Fernando and Yossi."
Suddenly you feel nauseated. Looks like those budlights aren't going to stay quiet for long. Oh no. This isn't going to work.
"Excuse me," you ask politely, not wanting to screw things up for next time. You head for the door and wander around outside.
...
...
...

(beep, beep, beep, beep, beep...) What a terrible noise. Oh my god, my head... I feel like death. I'm alive, but I feel lik... Huh? Jesus where am I?

You've woken up next to That Girl. Manchester United 3, Arsenal 1. Sigh. I knew this would happen.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Sometimes I Forget...

Just how good Robinho can be. Look at this:



Stupid. Also, go USA!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

USA vs. Brasil Game Notes

A few things before the game begins. It must be awkward to be a top 20 team scheduled to play the United States. Awkward for several reasons. The first is that Fifa has the United States ranked 14th in the world which at first glance seems at least 5 places too high. Though, if you look at the rankings:

10, France
11, Portugal
12, Turkey
13, Paraguay
14, USA
15, Czech Republic
16, Switzerland
17, Greece
17, Uruguay
19, Ukraine
20, Serbia

perhaps the US doesn't seem that highly ranked after all. In my personal opinion numbers 15, 16, 17 and depending on the outcome today, other 17 should be ahead of them but I will avoid splitting hairs. What is quite clear, however, is that the USA has no business being ahead of Paraguay, Turkey, Portugal, or France. In that sense they are adequately ranked but the tier of competition falls off so dramatically at 13 that the ranking of "14" seems to indicate one place-value below "13," when in reality its more like BCS vs. Football Bowl Subdivision. The rankings are not perfect, i.e. Egypt, winners of the African Nations Cup months ago, are ranked 40th, ahead of Costa Rica at 41, who smoked the United States. Not to mention England, who didn't qualify for the Euro's and hasn't beaten a real team in years, is currently sitting 5th. Wow. I digress.

So it must be awkward because the US is clearly on a lower level than top 13 teams but they should be so much better than they are, yet aren't, so yeah, it's just awkward to play a team like that. If you win, great, everyone legit beats them, but if you lose, you got beat by a crappy team that the world seemingly hasn't aknowledged as crappy yet. Are they underperforming, overperforming, I don't know. Whatever.

The second thing I wanted to mention before the ra, er, match begins is that Kaka has not seemed himself lately. The decline I mention hasn't shown up in the stats, in fact, the stat sheet shows him in top form. He seems to have lost a step - Caceres ran him down more than once in the open field, something I have never witnessed. And he also seems to lose possession more often than I remember. I know it seems like this is a complaint that Kobe is dunking with his left hand more often than his stronger right, but still, the club world seems to have coronated him as the 2nd best player ever and to me he seems like he's falling from soccer-god to extremely talented mortal. Just throwing it out there.

Alright, here we go 5 minutes to kick...

Brasil has thrown out a diplomatically appopriate line-up. No Juan, Elano and Daniel Alves. Hmmm, I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that the United States is Brasil's largest purchaser of exports by a wide margin. 18% vs the next highest (Argentina) at 8%.

The US however, trying to trump Brasil's subdued line-up has thrown out at least one turd in DeMarcus Beasley. What a joke. So far off to a bad start. Not to mention Bradley is leaving out Adu and a TLOCA favorite in Benny Feilhaber. If Adu continues to ride the pine I'm going to assume that Domenech has taken over our team and Adu must be a capricorn. There is no other reason. None.

1' - Announcer Del Carmen (or dellacamera or harkes, I forget) thinks that Bornstein has done a "good job" at full-back so far. True story, I wrote in the last entry that Bornstein was horrible but then Demerit stole the show so I deleted it because I didn't want to hate too much.

5' - The US hasn't gotten out of there own half but no threats of even half-chances yet so it's all good. We have fouled 3 times already and are on pace for 75.

6' - Whaddaya know. That foul apparently leads to an uncontested header from, hmm, 3 feet inside the six. I wonder when the United States is going to stop "zone" marking on free-kicks. Half our defenders zone mark, half man-mark and usually it ends with the defensive strategy of "not marking anyone." Brasil 1, USA 0

8' - We're already talking about how losing today won't necessarily eliminate us from the competition. Nice.

10' - Brasil starts dancing. Another foul. This time it was a dive though. This leads to Fabiano in on goal from a Beasley give-away who crosses to Robinho. The Chester City man scuffs it and misses an "easy 2nd." No bias here, those weren't my words.

14' - Kaka breaks through and leads to a corner. Del Carmen sarcastically describes the play, "well he's the most expensive player in the world ha ha." He's really bitter.

18' - I don't care how good the coach's son is, you still lose accountability to the fans and in the lockerroom. It's impossible to objectively analyze your son or criticize him in the lockerroom.

19' - Well so much for my Kaka has lost a step point earlier. He dribbled 60 yards and Bradley showed no signs of catching him.

20' - Um. Wow. Hahahahaha. A Beasley give-away from a botched corner kick in Brasil's half leads to a ridiculous run-out in which Michael Bradley is asked to run down 2 "flying" Brasilians. 2 on 1, Robinho finishes with ease. He then goes to talk to a microphone behind the goal.
Brasil 2, USA 0

21' - The replay shows that Beasley runs close to Donovan for a set short-corner play. Donovan passes him the ball, it rolls under Beasley foot, and causes the debacle. Technical difficulties, cue the Confederations Cup logo.

?' - Alexei Lalas back at the studio not so calmy explains that we need to "mark your men, its as simple as that." Not much analysis to be made I suppose.

26' - annnnnd we're back. We have absolutely no midfield marking whatsoever and Ramires, who is looking to pass, ends up slow dribbling 30 yards upfield, plays through to Fabiano running free and Howard clears. This diary is likely to end at half. My goodness.

33' - We have a corner and it doesn't lead to a goal by Brasil so we've fixed that snafu from before. The resulting crosses are cleared away. Oneywu takes a yellow to prevent another break. That's fine.

37' - The mexican wave has begun. Also, while I was trying to kill a gnat that somehow entered my apartment I look up and Fabiano is in alone. He kind of shoots but doesn't even care. That bastard always tries against Uruguay.

38' - Donovan makes that run he always makes which is really fun to watch. It leads to nothing because he passed to someone not named Jozy Altidore. You know the run, streaking up the field, flies by a few dudes. It happens once a half typically.

40' - Gilberto Silva misses a sort-of contested header over the bar. I remember that all too well. On a positive not we're sort of guarding people now!

42' - Robinho is being obnoxious and Oneywu barely touches him. Another weak call. This leads to a hilarious free-kick in which 2 Brasilians back post were so open they didn't really know what to do or how to comunicate who should do the scoring in such situation. It bounces, they kind of look at eachother, and then one of them shanks it over the goal and shrugs. I shrug as well.

Half-time

50' - Best 5 minutes the US has played yet. It's obvious we're trying now.

57' - Another red card! What is going on here. Kleijstan (sp) cleated some dude in the ankle pretty flagrantly but my goodness, are there no warnings any more.

58' - Gilberto Silva heads over the bar again. Sorry, I feel obligated to mention every time he doesn't score when he probably should.

60' - Spector is our best player out there. Besides Donovan of course. Nah, just Spector actually. Bradley throws in the towel again by taking out Jozy. At least he put in Feilhaber.

62' - Let's go Egypt! Brasil 3, USA 0 Maicon completes a beautiful give and go and give and score utilizing 4 players in a staggered run. This will also end the game notes unless there is something worth noting.

We need Egypt to win. If Egypt draws against Italy then we'd have to beat Egypt by four (as of right now) plus whatever Italy beats Brasil by should they also win. So let's hope they beat Italy and then we can control our own fate.

Monday, June 15, 2009

USA vs Italy - Confederations Cup

It's official, ESPN has begun advertising for the World Cup 2010. The ad shows Lahm's first goal (a neat far-post upper 90) and then Grosso's no-no-no-I-can't-believe head shake and then I don't remember anything after that because I get goosebumps and have to close my eyes. This is the voice in my head when I see it. That clip makes me want to guffaw, cry and throw-up all at the same time and I don't even care about Italy.

There's always time for nostalgia but I have more important things to get to, namely, Giuseppe Rossi effectively ending his citizenship in the United States. Traitor.

Italy vs. USA
Landon Donovan has 10 goals in 24 international appearances. That's not too shabby when you consider that many knowing soccer fans contend that Donovan is the USA's best player. If you would agree with such an assessment then I have a very, very worrying caveat to that statistic. 8 of those goals are from penalty kicks. 1 is from a free-kick and the other is from "free play." Yikes. I like that he is efficient from the spot but my goodness, 1 goal in 24 appearances from flowing soccer? That's reveals something. More on this later.

To the game:
The US looks really frisky! Italy seems a little slow out of the gates and we could make this happen. I watch Michael Bradley scuff the ball and blow a free shot on Buffon just outside the six and I think, hmmm, that reveals something. Then a few minutes later, Jozy Altidore (America's soccer equivalent of Barack Obama) also mishits a shot bearing down on Buffon. Hmmm.
What's that Ricardo Clark, you're an idiot? Yes you are. It may be a bad call but he sees red and we're down to 10 men. Ricardo has no explanation for kicking Gattuso in the upper-knee 3 seconds after the ball had vacated the area so does it really matter it was a harsh card? The answer is, "Ricardo Clarke is an idiot." Landon converts a PK - of course - but if you didn't know, the sun is setting on this game. Sorry Alexei Lalas but it's true.

By the way, allow me to take this space to illustrate Alexei Lalas' career for the red white and blue. Lalas led the United States in 1994 to a 3rd place group finish and a -1 goal differential overall losing in the first round of the knock-out stages. In 1998 Lalas led the United States to a -4 goal differential and last place finish in the group stages. But he did have a weird hair-do!

If I had to liken him to one other US player I'd go with Brandi Chastain. So yeah, Alexei Lalas.

Halftime. Back to the studio where we're joined by Alexei Lalas! What a coincidence. Anyway, Alex, sporting a subdued haircut, rants about the horrible call on Ricardo Clarke. He then, let the record show, claims that Jozy embellished the PK but, "hey, that's what you have to do." Very interesting. I personally don't think that Jozy embellished the foul and even if he did I do agree, that's what you have to do. So at least Lalas and I agree on that.

The 2nd half starts and wouldn't you know it, that son of a bitch Jersey trash traitor subs on. I speak of course of Giuseppe Rossi. Then a few moments later, on his first touch, he steals the ball, takes a few strides and absolutely launches past Tim Howard. 1-1. Just like that.

Does anyone else think that Tim Howard is becoming overrated a shocking pace? I digress.

Italy is the one that looks frisky now and our only hope, Jozy, gets subbed off in the 66th minute. Chances of the US holding on for 1 point fall like BearStearn's stock. 5 minutes later Daniele De Rossi, no relation to Giuseppe, rolls a shot past Tim Howard for number 2. It bounces perhaps tre times, passes by tre players (who all have enough time to react to it) and does not hit the side netting from 35 out. Announcers blame Iguchi for screening Timothy. That's interesting - usually a shot from 35 out is well seen. I'm no goal-keeper though, just someone who can count how many times a ball bounces before it rolls into the back of the net.

1 minute later (72nd) we officially throw in the towel. Do you know how I know - Demarcus Beasley subs onto the pitch. I stay tuned because hey, there are always set pieces for the US to score on. Luca Toni misses three easy chances - apparently he hasn't quite shaken that National Team slump he's in. This immediately changes my mindset from, hey let's steal one back, to, hey lets just not get embarrassed. Nope. Giuseppe smashes home a volley after Pirlo walks, read that correctly, walks by Jay Demerit. 3-1.

I hope Cash Cab is on. This reminds me I need to call my friend Jon and ask him if he ever rode in the Cash Cab when he lived in New York. Jon was always trying to hail that cash cab.