Something Great

Arsene Wenger cobbled together starting lineups with spit and duct tape and Denilson and somehow the team dragged its ass over the finish line in third or fourth.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

We Forgot Our Own Birthday

Notable Footy Things That Have Happened Since We Last Updated the Blowg:

1. Arsenal sold their best player and another of their most promising players, became terrible, and were humiliated by United at Old Trafford.

2. Uruguay won the Copa America and retained their position as South America's best team.

3. The United States lost the Women's World Cup in a heartbreaker to Japan. Becky Sauerbrunn, friend of the blowg, made her World Cup debut in the semifinal match against France and was outstanding.

3. Liverpool bought some really promising young British players and looked like they might be getting somewhere.

4. Manchester City started the season on fire and beat the crap out of their frightened neighbors.

5. Juventus somehow built one of Europe's scariest teams under the radar by acquiring Marko Vucinic (a Jim favorite), Fabio Quagliarella, Andrea Pirlo (a Juan favorite), Alessandro Matri, Simone Pepe, Arturo Vidal, and Marco Boriello. Vucinic, Boriello, and Matri joined del Piero, Iaquinta, Luca Toni, and Amauri as striking options (OK, that is just ridiculous). A death struggle quickly ensued between Juve and Milan.

6. Tottenham started the season terribly and then just as suddenly became London's best team. Ew.

7. Chelsea in crisis.

8. Arsene Wenger brought in an enormous German, a handsome Spaniard, and a tricksy Israeli to right the good ship Arsenal. Amazingly, it worked. But mostly because Robin van Persie hoisted the entire team onto his broad shoulders like a Dutch Superman with a son named Shaquille.

9. Things happened in the Bundesliga and Ligue 1.

10. Things also happened in La Liga. Mostly things involving Barca and Madrid: Cesc suddenly discovering that his head game is outrageous in Spain, Pepe behaving so poorly that it drew criticism from choirboy Wayne Rooney, and lots of diving.

11. Manchester City and Manchester United both failed to qualify for the knockout stages of the Champions League and had to settle for the Europa League. No, there is nothing more embarrassing than that.

12. (Alleged) Racism.

13. Paul Scholes and Thierry Henry (swoon) returned for Man U and Arsenal, respectively, thus confusing fans of both teams into thinking it was 2002. Millions wrote their MPs in the hopes of preventing a war in Iraq.

14. Henry scored the winner on his re-debut for Arsenal. Millions peed in their pants just a little bit.

15. Liverpool became terrible again, thanks in part to (alleged) racism.

16. Arsenal became terrible again, thanks in part to injuries and just general crapness.

17. Jim passed the NY Bar Exam and started work in Arkansas. Juan moved to Colorado and started medical school.

18. The Legend of Carl Awesome celebrated its fourth birthday on January 15, 2012. Which is like 21 in blowg years.

19. I promised on several occasions to definitely update the blog every time Juan or Adam Large texted me something hilarious about footy. I never did.

20. Anything connected to Mario Balotelli.

But fear not, we'll be bringing you our canny thoughts and priceless insights on a more regular basis. Starting with our first ever live-tweeting of Arsenal vs. Manchester United, which can be enjoyed here:!/jimedstan