Something Great

Arsene Wenger cobbled together starting lineups with spit and duct tape and Denilson and somehow the team dragged its ass over the finish line in third or fourth.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Barça Bleeds

"Today's agenda:
We have your new boots up in the Sentra. Go to the Emirates, tell them Arsene sent-ya. You should feel strange if no goals are exchanged - just remain as calm as possible and if not, take more shots, we know how you do. Please make your win clean, no conceded goals in between, beat them and flee the scene. Or else, your legacy is on the shelf, we mean this Andrei. I got the trophies to blow the wall out, clear the mall out. Don't worry about the fallout, word to Cesc, I bet Barça are p*$#sy. The thought of this win pushes me. Cesc pay attention, these owners are just henchmen, if you get sold they'll get paid, and extra probably. Promise me you won't leave us." "I promise," but of course Cesc had his fingers crossed.

Barça bleeds just like us. Picture Arsene being scared of a team that breathes the same air as his. Barça bleeds just like us. Arsene would rather go toe to toe with all of y'all, running is not his protocol.

Arsene and Cesc agreed to come out shootin is silly because Barça have Messi - so Arshavin plans to freak 'em while trying to ignore Titi Henry, who, well, that's a long story. "Cesc get the gasoline because, this spot, Arsenal is about to blow this. Right here at the Emirates is the perfect place, if Barca's offside trap is late, they will meet their fate."
"Theo, pass the gasoline." And he passed Arsene Kerosene. "Whatever, it's flammable, my hunger is unexplainable."
Arsene struck the match and just what he expected, Dani Alves ejected in seconds and here comes two opposite sexes - one Puyol, one Marquez. As soon as the whistle blew Arsenal started blastin. Guardiola's jaw hit the flour, Andrei was laughin. Chance after chance, Song knows our first goal won't be long. The crowd got real loud but still seemed like they would allow it. In the 90th minute this draw was surely over as the cross came from far but can you believe it, Arshavin shanked it over the bar.

Stupid Gooners.

3 comments:

JuanSuarez said...

This post is clearly meant for Jim and any other Notorious BIG aficionados so I apologize in advance that is makes no sense at all.

For the record I think Arsenal win 2-nil.

Jim said...

You've outdone yourself yet again. This is unbelievable.

Jim said...

Arshavin shanking a shot is truly the equivalent of double parking by a hydrant.