Happy Thanksgiving (Except you, Arsenal)

I hope everyone is having a great holiday, despite Arsenal's best efforts to ruin it. The panic button shouldn't be pushed yet, but I understand if you're hunched over the button with your arm raised and glancing around with crazy eyes.

This Saturday against Aston Villa, the Gooners have the opportunity to start off the weekend in amazing fashion. And I'm not referring to the three points. Those will be nice of course, but I'm most referring to timing of it all.

It's a long weekend, it's the holidays, and Arsenal is the opening ceremony. An Arsenal win means the United-Blackburn match is exceedingly more enjoyable. You get to be that guy at the bar wearing Arsenal red, oooh-ing and aah-ing obnoxiously over every Blackburn miss. You can drink your beer with a conspicuous air of entitlement, talk loudly about how, "Wayne seems to have lost a step", and still leave happy after United win 2-nil. The day has just begun.

After an early lunch of leftover turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes, the Serie A is there for dessert. AC Milan and their enigmatic all-stars face a tricky Sampdoria side to increase their lead atop the table. Then comes Juventus, or rather, the Milo Krasic show, on FSC. If you haven't tuned in to see Milo Krasic run circles around slow Serie A defenders, this is your chance. The Old Lady has a swagger about them lately, so lets hope they keep it up.

Before you drift off to sleep in the wonderful food comatose that can only occur this time of year, let Diego Forlan tuck you in. The World Cup's best player leads Atletico Madrid against Barcelona's younger brother, Espanyol. With rumors of a scoring drought, Doug E Fresh set the record straight against Osasuna, and ever since, he and Kun Aguero have been running trains on La Liga defenders.

On Sunday, Liverpool will beat Tottenham after Chelsea loses to Newcastle and the Rams, who are shockingly relevant this year, will pull out a nice road victory a mile in the air. You'll say goodbye to family, eat one more turkey sandwich for the road and wonder why you don't make 15 pound turkeys more often because the leftovers are so damn good. Unfortunately, it can't be replicated; it won't be same if it's not Nov 25th, but you knew that already.

None of these things will happen if Arsenal comes out and loses. So yeah, no pressure.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Fresh Juicy Mangoes

Dan Quayle would be proud of this fellow. For the neutral observer, it was a fantastic weekend of football. As an Arsenal supporter, it wasn't so great; I'll just quickly say a few words about that stinker against Newcastle and it's this: no excuses. We put out almost as strong a squad as we could; no Vermaelen or fit RVP, but whatever, this is almost as good as it gets. Cesc, Nasri, Wilshere, Walcott, Chamakh, Song. We should be scoring. And at home, we must be winning with that lineup. MUST. OK, rant over. Now, a few thoughts:

(1) Fernando Torres took two enormous bites of the mango this weekend. And with cool, slightly sticky mango juice spilling down his handsome chin, he lit a fire under Liverpool. For the first half, they looked like the squad their teamsheet has always threatened to be - killing themselves for every ball in midfield, working hard, defending as a unit, smothering Chelsea, and letting El Nino do his thing up front. That was so much fun to watch. It certainly made the poop sandwich (with a side of Andy Carroll and Joey Barton) I had just swallowed a half hour before that much easier to digest. In the second half, Chelsea had an Arsenal kind of day, lots of possession, lots of dallying, and then, when they finally got the ball into dangerous positions, they wasted their chances or were thwarted by excellent goalkeeping. I felt their pain.

(2) Roma won what might be the most intense, ill-tempered derby in football right now against league-leaders Lazio. (Frankly, I'd be too terrified to attend one of these matches.) You know Francesco Totti is nearing the end when I'm slightly relieved to see him not on the teamsheet. Also, I'm sorry to say it, but Muslera really should do better with Boriello's miserable excuse for a penalty. Good thing they had Vucinic take the second one. Who, by the way, has the angriest, most bizarre, goal celebrations around right now. He's the best.

(3) This brings me to my next point: the Serie A is bonkers. With all the focus on the EPL and La Liga, it's easy to forget that an Italian club won the CL last year. If I'm a club in the Champions League, I want no part of Inter, Roma, or Milan this year. All three clubs, while flawed, are completely unpredictable, and I could easily see one of them going to the final this year. Don't look now, but they're all on track to make the knockouts...

(4) La Liga wants no part of the (relative) parity taking hold of the EPL, Serie A, or Bundesliga (actual parity, there). But that's OK, because Mourinho vs. Barca is good fun. Juan predicted that the title returns to Madrid this year, and frankly, it's hard to argue with him. In fact, I think I'll go one better: Mourinho wins the treble with Madrid, and then leaves within the next two years to replace Fergie at Man United. It's happening.

(5) Speaking of which... Ji-Sung Park? Surely United cannot keep this up. If they somehow stay competitive for the title, then Fergie has definitely refinanced the third mortgage on his soul.

Until next time, gents.

So, What Have We Learned?

Harsh, hateful words from the fictional Sr. Guardiola, the use of which I in no way condone. In every other way, hilariously spot-on. And now, the week in review:

1) Tomas Rosicky should never, ever come near an Arsenal penalty again. Why Chamakh, whose primary purpose in life is the scoring of goals, or Nasri, who has ice water pumping through his gangster, Marseilles-ghetto veins, didn't take that spot kick against Sunderland I'll never know. Arsene was similarly nonplussed.

2) Sam Allardyce may be on some dangerous, hard drugs. The man is seriously delusional.

3) Manchester United are, in fact, somewhat fragile at the back. The discipline and steel of past years is missing. Evans and O'Shea are, quite frankly, not very good at the moment. Or as the English say: "crap."

4) However, Dimitar Berbatov is settling in quite nicely, thank you very much. Cruising along, smooth as a big body Lexus, he put in another finishing master class. Haters gon' hate, and Berba don't care. Get that money, Berba. Buy yourself another Argentina replica jersey. Maybe go for Spain this time, actually.

5) Barthalona and Real Mourinho are both capable of ugly, gutsy wins. But as Juan mentioned with regard to Barca last week, when you put out those lineups, you expect to win at any cost, by any means. See above cartoon.

6) Zlatan Ibrahimovic is probably a sociopath. Maybe he's so humorless and borderline autistic because he's constantly being scrutinized and criticized despite being one of the most prolific goalscorers in Europe. (See above cartoon.) Something I like to call Anelka Syndrome. But it's much more likely that he's just a huge jerk regardless of what the press says about him. At any rate, he's still really good at scoring goals, especially when his feet are firmly planted on Italian soil.

7) Having Florent Malouda as the captain of your fantasy EPL team has been a very good idea. Not to pat myself on the back or anything. But seriously, we won't learn anything new about Chelsea until next weekend's trip to the City of Manchester Stadium. I'm hoping (as always) for a Wayne Bridge winner that deflects off John Terry's groin.

8) Roma were clearly demoralized by how last season ended, and they look stuck in preseason mode. That squad is more than capable of winning the league this year. Frankly, it's confusing. And the pressure may be getting to the tinkerman.

9) It's official: there's something seriously wrong with Fernando Torres. I know I'm about three months too late with that obvious announcement, but I was willing to overlook his subpar World Cup display due to his injury struggles (and the general overhype that accompanies every star into a new tournament after performing fantastically at their last tournament - in this case, Euro 2008). But he really does not look like himself. (I believe) he won the penalty and the free kick that gave Liverpool a way back into the Northwest Derby, but anyone who watched that entire match knows that something is up.

10) Everybody should move to Barcelona (see Juan's excellent dispatch from the Camp Nou below). Beautiful football, beautiful women, and delicious sandwiches (mostly likely prepared by beautiful women and then enjoyed whilst watching beautiful football). Sigh. Get the couch bed ready, good sir.

Tuesday Wrap-Up

Just a few quick thoughts about today's CL games/goals that couldn't be fit in a comment.

In the United - Milan game:

1. Milan 1 - 0 Man U. Welcome back to relevance, Ronaldinho. It's nice to see him quietly on the up and up this season. And though his goal was a bit fortunate, a shade of that fantastic technique shows through - hitting that and putting it on target is, uh, pretty hard.

2. Milan 1 - 1 Man U. Paul Scholes scores goals. Sometimes they're amazing. And sometimes they're amazing-ly lucky/fluky/ridiculous. This one is mesmerizing, but not because of anything he does intentionally. Although if someone did that on purpose, swinging a leg and whiffing and letting the ball deflect off the standing leg, it would be unbelievable. It reminded me of this.

3. Milan 1 - 2 Man U. Rooney just wants to score more than any defender in the world wants to stop him. This is just sheer athleticism, positional awareness, desire, and technique. Great goal.

4. Milan 1 - 3 Man U. So, if trying to push Rooney wide to the far post resulted in a goal, maybe the Milan players decided to just let him have two free headers (one to win the ball, one to score) in the belief that it wasn't worth their time. Or maybe they were too busy thinking about the delicious pasta or risotto dinners waiting for them, prepared and served by fine-featured brunettes with soft hands and large, brown eyes. Either way, it's called suicidal defending.

5. Milan 2 - 3 Man U. Wonderful goal. Excellent buildup, perfect pass, the finish it deserved (let's see how many cliches I can work into one sentence). Unlike Scholes, Seedorf knew exactly what he was doing. He confuses me, though. I know he's a legend, and when he does stuff like that, I get it, but often I don't know what he's still doing out there. Whatever.

Honestly, Milan could have scored about a million goals in this game. I felt like I was watching an older, Italian version of Arsenal. Sigh.

In Lyon vs. Madrid:

Lyon 1 - 0 Madrid. HAHAHA. Well-deserved, says I. It takes something special to beat Iker from that range, and that was dripping with delicious special sauce as it swerved from left to right. Also, Govou and Lisandro have oodles of swag, which I like, but how many Row Z screamers did they smack before Makoun scored? Tee him up next time, eh boys?

Some takeaway questions:

On current form, is Wayne Rooney the best player in the world? If not, then who? Discuss.

Is there a coach with better hair than Leonardo? When Milan play against Inter or Barca, which team do the 30+ female viewers decide to secretly support when it's him versus Jose or Pep?

What are the odds on Madrid going out? And if they do, how much do they intensify their summer bid for Cesc? I know he "bleeds Barcelona" and all that, but honestly, if anyone needs a creative general with redonkalous field vision, it's los Galactifails, not Barca. So, how much do they spend to get him? And who goes the other way? Alright, that's plenty for now.

Hey Real Madrid... uh, well nevermind

So if you look at the top of this page you'll see a horribly outdated banner. It appears that both Kaka and Cristiano are headed to the Bernabeu to join, ahem, Iker Casillas, Gabriele Heinze, Sergio Ramos, Wesley Sneijder and Arjen Robben. And I omitted about 6 or 7 names that would start on Arsenal.

So if you're counting at home that leaves Real with, drumroll please, the world's best goalkeeper, world quality fullbacks, two of the world's best midfielders/strikers to go along with 14 other national team starters. Yes, that's correct, fourteen players that start for their respective national teams.

"You can't just buy all-stars and expect success," they'll say. "They still might not win," or "they'll be good in three years," people will exclaim. They are all wrong. Real Madrid will win La Liga, the Champions League, and just for fun El Copa Del Rey and barring injury, they won't have broken a sweat. Even with injuries they're still 1 to 4 favorites.

Players of this magnitude have never joined forces like this and failed (and I can say that now that Barca won the treble). The 2002 Real Madrid squad that doubled up consisted of Roberto Carlos, Makelele, Zidane, Figo and Raul (all in their prime or at the least tailing off their primes). That core looks suspiciously similar to their current one.

But how in the world can Real afford all this? Has the whole country gone mad - Spain has 17% unemployment and they're staring at 60% debt with regards to their GDP?

The easy answer is I have no idea, and absolutely, the whole soccer world has gone mad. However, when you look at their books you can find some money to dent the 140 million pounds just spent on Kakoldo. I'm gonna stick with pounds here because its easier this way as everyone reports in pounds. Van Nistelrooy and Raul are retiring, if not this year then next year, both being paid around 20 million pounds each. Real can still sell Robben (another ~15-20mil), and not extend Saviola (also ~15-20 mil). That's around 80 mil coming off the books by 2010. Let's assume they sell 21-year-old Higuain, who yes, scored 1 goal less than Messi in La Liga last year, for another 15-20mil. That would mean Real spent 40-60mil for Cristiano and Kaka to replace Raul, Van Nistelrooy, Higuain, and Robben. With what they have left I would make that move.

And apparently they're also going to get Villa. This is just silly. I have no idea. Yes, the soccer world has gone mad.

Matthieu Flamini: "I've Made a Huge Mistake."

No, he didn't actually say that. But the thought must have at least crossed his mind (in French, of course), as Milan fell to Genoa in their second straight defeat. And it's not as though he'll get a chance to take his mind off their woeful league start with a Champions League tie in midweek.

The more you think about it, the more the Flamster's new club looks like what I like to call a reputation team. It's a club that supporters fear because of its big names, but that players all secretly know are beatable. The New York Yankees, since 2004, have descended into a reputation team. Sir Alex tried to imply that Chelsea were one (they're not). Barcelona are in real danger of having that label applied to them.

Essentially, Milan has compiled an All-Star team... from 2003. Ambrosini has no business starting anymore. Something is still wrong with Pirlo. Inzaghi shot his wad in the 2007 Champions League final. Maldini is perhaps the greatest defender of all time, but he's 40 years old (and was responsible for the penalty today with a very reckless challenge). Seedorf is also a legend, and has won pretty much everything a footballer can win, but his last two seasons have been really unproductive. The airlines somehow lost Shevchenko's talent and goalscoring boots on his flight from Milan to London; I doubt he'll find them again in Italy. Kaka and Ronaldinho together should be able to unlock the vault to Fort Knox, but today, they were completely ineffective in unlocking a mediocre Genoa defense. If Arsenal had a chance to take any of their players, I'd say thanks, but no thanks to just about everyone except Kaka, Flamini, and Pato. For serious.

Serie A Wrap-up With Some Biscotti and Italian Love Cake

Let me first begin with the fact that Italian Love Cake is a real dessert. For some reason I can see that being integral to a Luca Toni pickup line.

This is the end of the Serie A wrap up with the final five teams. All of these teams are relevant to some degree (in reverse order again).

AC Milan - 18 wins, 10 losses, 10 draws, 64 points. Where to start... where to start... Clarence Seerdorf sucks. Of course he has some shining moments, he's a professional footballer, but for this team and possibly Italian soccer in general, he's no good. How do I know? For starters his best games, which for me are still mostly unimpressive, are in the Champions League (this must be why people think he's good). And after watching at least 15 Milan games, the two I witnessed without Seerdorf is when the Rossinerri were at their finest.

Then there is Andre Pirlo, or I should say, the exhausted cadaver formerly known as Andre Pirlo. His freekicks have been generally bad if not completely terrible at times. His turnovers are evident and his transitions are slow. The man looks exhausted and he is not the same. Watch his game against Arsenal and you'll call 911... or whatever it is in Italy (thanks to Sept 11th its impossible to find on google).

Then there is Kaka. Something isn't quite right with Brasilians these days. Ronaldo got extorted by transvestites, Ninho is unhappy at Barca for some reason unbeknownst to me, Dunga has openly said he does not prefer older players (he means 24 and older here), Anderson can't close his mouth when he plays (pictured), Romario thinks he's better than Pele??? and their U-20 team could probably win the World Cup right now. The same goes for Kaka but in a different way. It used to be that I had never seen him make a mistake, and after seeing like... 2 mistakes this year, something must be wrong.

Inzaghi has been fun to watch but I think everyone agrees its time for him to part ways with AC Milan and come to the MLS. Same goes for Ambrosini.

If you aren't convinced by Alexander the Duck yet it's probably because the Champions League announcers ripped on him unjustly all game. He infused energy into this dying team and in the middle of the season he turned them around.

If this seems like rambling you're absolutely right. AC needs a complete makeover. Keep Kaka, Pato, Gilardino, Nesta, and Gattuso (if you can, he'll be gone though) and get rid of the rest. Especially Kalac, who sucks, and Dida (see Kalac).
So far their first move - signing Flamini is a great start. If they can snag Ninho they'll be gravy. As a Juventude I wouldn't mind AC rebuilding for 2 years but something tells me that won't happen.
Enjoy the Uefa cup this year boys.

And no, I don't mean that.

Fiorentina - 19 wins, 10 losses, 9 draws, 66 points. What a fiesty team. Their loses were against Inter (2), Lazio (2), Milan, Udinese, Roma, Napoli, Cagliari, Palermo (once each). Yep, Juve wasn't on that list (sonsabitches) and really there are only 3 "bad" losses on that list and those are outnumbered by "good" wins. The resume only gets better - they made it to the semis in the Uefa Cup beating some legit squads along the way and eventually lost to the Rangers in PKs. This a young upstart team that developed well. Expect them to be around for awhile and then for their good players to be bought.

Juventus - 20 wins, 6 losses, 12 draws, 72 points. Their loses - Udinese, Napoli, Reggina, Fiorentina, Palermo, Siena. The Siena one was at the end of the season when they had secured third so that one doesn't count. Palermo absolutely stunned/outplayed/raped us and Fiorentina similar. Udinese and Napoli were unacceptable. The problem with this team as you can see is not the losses, but the draws. This tends to be the case for a top 3 team (see: Arsenal).
Unacceptable draws: Cagliari, Sampdoria, and Catania. To be fair, Juventus had a pretty good Serie A. Coppa Italia hurt and the lack of Champions League (after The Scandal) hurt as well.
I really wish we had gunned for Roma a bit more and earned an Auto-qualifying spot instead of the opposite of that.

I have alot of worries for next year. Quickly - Nedved faded hard, Tiago is a huge maybe, Sissoko improved every game but was it because we said we would listen to offers?, Del Piero can't possibly produce like he did and Buffon carried us way way too much for comfort. Molinaro, my nemesis, we must replace. Our defense as a unit came around but my goodness they looked shaky at the start of the season.

What I'm not worried about: Our forwards, Iaquinta, Palladino, Trezegol. Camoranesi, Legrottaglie, Chellini, Grygera, Buffon.

Where I would love an upgrade: wing back (Molinotgood), attacking center mid (Tiago? Nedved? do we even have an attacking center mid?) and we could use a slightly better wing mid (Salihamidzic - who I like but still).

Roma - 24 wins, 4 losses, 10 draws, 82 points. Their losses - Inter, Juventus, AC Milan, Napoli. None of those are bad losses. In fact, I think this team really over-achieved this year. Totti was not the ridiculous force he used to be, Vucinic was very on/off and underused, Taddei I think is terrible and the same goes for Mancini. Guily, who I think is quite good, was underused as well. I really don't know how they scored any goals at all. Their defense and defensive midfield is world class though: Mexes, Panucci, Juan, Cicinho, Cassetti, and De Rossi held this team together.
Roma essentially chose the Champions League over the Scudetto - like most teams - and came out with nothing - like most teams not Manchester United. It's almost a shame how one's own league title doesn't mean as much as it should.

Roma has one more game of interest in the Coppa Italia Final and it should be a classic. Both Inter and Roma are looking for some sort of validation and because the Coppa is not all that important both teams should come out firing.

Inter Milan - don't let the media confuse you, this team was never actually vulnerable. They had 3 losses all year. Three. Tre. They were: Juventus, AC Milan and Napoli. They had 85 points and a plus 43 goal differential. Plus forty three. This squad went wire to wire and didn't lose until their 25th game. The Dragon just wanted you to think you could catch it. Go ahead, try and catch it.

Villa(un)real!

Weekend Recap:

1) Can anyone challenge Manchester United? Right now they're a runaway bus, steamrolling anything in their path, unable to be stopped, and led by a very handsome man who inspires the utmost loathing in his detractors. Kind of like the movie Speed, if Keanu Reeves were really good at his chosen profession in the way Ronaldo dominates his own. The Portuguese phenom is already inspiring debate as to whether or not he's the greatest player the EPL has ever seen (unfortunate for Arsenal and Chelsea), and Keanu Reeves is still making films (unfortunate for everyone). I happen to think he's a shoe-in for every accolade this season (including "hater of the year"), but would hesitate before calling him the best ever in the league. But if he keeps this up for just one more season, then I think he's earned the right to be talked about with Henry, Shearer, Bergkamp, Zola, and the rest. He certainly helped his case with the opener against Villa which was as beautifully executed as it was audacious.

2) Arsenal aren't finished yet. Wenger calls their victory over Bolton the greatest comeback he can remember, and I can't argue. Easter was a disaster, but the Gunners rose from the dead a week later with a gritty and fortune-favored second half. After struggling against Birmingham, Wigan, and Boro, Arsenal evidently need to be two goals and a man down before they really get going. However, that particular formula for victory won't work against Liverpool in the Champions League (as Inter will be all too happy to tell you), so Arsenal best be on their game on Wednesday if they want any shot at advancing.

3) Villareal completely outclassed Atletico Madrid. It wasn't as though los Indios were playing poorly, either, they simply ran into a squad that have real self-confidence and desperately want to contend for the title. The yellow submarine have been consistently providing some of the best teamwork in the game (watch the way they work the goals below). The question now, though, is whether Real Madrid have lost a title rival, or gained one? Barcelona look done after their stunning second-half collapse against Betis, and Villareal have supplanted them in second with a great run. They're currently six points back, and though you still have to like Real's chances, they still have to play Barcelona again this season. Villareal, meanwhile, have a cozy run for the rest of the year, with their toughest opposition coming in an away game against Sevilla next week. It's a good opportunity for another statement game.



Wonderful teamwork, but I think we all know the real secret of their success: long, flowing locks of hair. With Gonzalo Rodriguez, Pires, Santi Cazorla, and numerous others, no club has better.

4) Inter are at sixes and sevens. Their lead is at four points, but it feels a lot smaller. Roma did them a huge favor by drawing at Cagliari, but remain right on their tail. Something working in Inter's favor: Roma must play red-hot Manchester United in the CL. Probably not good for momentum. Things working in Roma's favor: Inter still have to play Fiorentina and AC Milan in the league, and have a much more difficult Coppa Italia draw in Lazio. That'll mean less rest for their big players. This one ain't over, folks.

5) AC Milan are in a tailspin. And there's no sign of it ending anytime soon. Future fixtures include Juventus (in Turin), Inter, and Udinese at the very end of the season. They're in sixth place and ninth-place Atalanta just carved up their defense like fresh cold cuts. 1-2 was a very flattering scoreline, and it could have easily been 4 or 5 for Serie A's other Nerazzurri. They're only four points out of fourth, but on current form and with their remaining schedule, I don't think they'll make it. I reckon it's probably time to bid farewell not only to Paolo Maldini, but to the fantastic dynasty of world football he helped build.

The Five Best Derbies

This one won't be easy, but I think we can immediately rule out the worst one, and that's Derby County. Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

I've determined there are probably nine or ten big derbies that are truly deserving of note, but in the interest of time, I've whittled it down to five. We can talk about the big rivalries between different cities (Inter-Juve, Man U-Liverpool, etc.) later, so in the meantime, here's my countdown:

Barely missing the cut: Derby della Capitale (Roma vs. Lazio), The Manchester Derby (Manchester United vs. Manchester City), Derby della Mole (Juventus vs. Torino), Galatasaray vs. Fenerbahce, Olympiacos vs. Panathinaikos.


5. El Derbi Madrileno (Real Madrid vs. Atletico Madrid): This spot could have easily gone to any of the teams listed above (and a few not mentioned), but it goes to Madrid for perfectly encapsulating what intercity rivalries are all about. On the one side, you have the giants of world football, a team overflowing with trophies and praise. They're the bandwagon team that the rest of the country either loves or loves to hate, the club supported by the rich and their stadium is filled with supporters who consistently vote conservatively. Opposing them is a club playing next door to a brewery which, while successful, will always live in the shadow of its rival. This team draws no support outside its home city, and instead is loved by the leftist, rebellious working class. I don't have to tell you which is which. In terms of trophies, Atletico have nothing to be ashamed of (9 Titles, 9 Copa del Rey), but look like chumps compared to Los Blancos (30 Titles, 17 Copa del Rey, 9 European Cups). Also, you know it's a good rivalry when one team calls itself "Los Blancos" because its uniforms are white and the other starts referring to itself as "Los Indios," not for any real reason, but just to be in direct opposition.

4. The Merseyside Derby (Liverpool vs. Everton): Where this one ranks really depends on what you're looking for in a derby. Do you want bitter hatred between the two fan bases and a do-or-die environment on the field? Or do you want an atmosphere of mutual respect and pride in one's shared city? Because if it's the latter, this one is the best. In fact, when there's violence, it's usually under bizarre circumstances such as the 1980 FA Cup when supporters of the two teams actually joined together to attack fans from other clubs. Now that's unity. In terms of silverware, Liverpool has everyone in England beat (18 Titles, 7 FA Cups, 5 European Cups), but Everton are no slouches with 9 Titles and 5 FA Cups of their own. The rivalry gets docked a few points due to the fact that it has been stripped of its meaningfulness in the last few decades (neither team has won the league since 1990) But in the end, it's all about two storied clubs, two historic grounds (Liverpool have been at Anfield and Everton at Goodison Park since 1892!), and a universal love of their home city. If you're not one for fighting or chanting death threats, it doesn't get any better than this.

3. The North London Derby (Arsenal vs. Tottenham Hotspur): It was hard to put this one above Liverpool and Everton, but it currently gets the nod because of the consistent match quality and importance. Though it's been a largely one-sided affair this decade, Tottenham have recently raised the bar through competitive displays and their 5-1 beatdown of the Gunners in the Carling Cup. Both sets of supporters will also not soon forget the 2005-2006 season, when Arsenal waited until the last day of the season to overtake Spurs in the all-important fourth place spot. In terms of intensity, this rivalry is second to none; Gooners keep track of when Tottenham can no longer finish above them in the league and celebrate "St. Totteringham's Day" when it arrives, while Spurs fans could hardly wait to rejoice in their victory over Arsenal (it was only the Carling semifinal!) with commemorative DVDs and coffee mugs. You also know things are bitter between the two sides when you can refer to "Judas" in a football context and everyone in London immediately knows who you're talking about. Both sides have an impressive trophy cabinet (13 Titles, 10 FA Cups for Arsenal; 2 Titles, 8 FA Cups for Tottenham), and Spurs were able to add to it with their Carling Cup victory this season. If Arsenal don't one-up them with the league or the CL this season, you can bet the Gunners will be hearing about it for years.

2. Derby della Madonnina (Milan vs. Internazionale): Two heavyweights of world soccer, this would be a mouthwatering match under any circumstances. Add to it the fact that the two clubs share a city AND a stadium, and now you're really talking. This rivalry is so intense that it even spilled over into the 1990 World Cup when Dutch/AC Milan legends Marco van Basten, Frank Rijkaard, and Rudd Gullit faced German/Inter heroes Jurgen Klinsmann, Lothar Matthaus, and Andreas Brehme in the San Siro. When Germany won, the Italian Inter fans celebrated as though their club had triumphed. In terms of world class players, it would very difficult to top this one, and when it comes to trophies between the two sides, the numbers are staggering (Milan with 17 Titles, 5 Coppa Italia, 7 European Cups and Inter with 15 Titles, 5 Coppa Italia, and 2 European Cups). The fact that there's a hint of politics involved (Inter for the right, Milan for the left) makes the matches even more weighty, and meetings between the two have been known to get ugly (see picture above and the 2004-2005 Champions League). With Inter fighting for the title and Milan battling for fourth, the next meeting (May 4) is almost guaransheed to be a thriller.

1. The Old Firm (Celtic vs. Rangers): You could make a case for any of the rivalries I've mentioned as the best, but I think this one is truly deserving. Because while Milan and Inter are two of the best teams in Italian football, Celtic and Rangers ARE Scottish football. Simply put, there is no challenge to their consistent dominance of their league, and every year they're gunning for the title. These teams are not only the best (Celtic have 41 Titles, 34 Scottish Cups, 1 European Cup and Rangers have a mind-boggling 51 Titles and 31 Scottish Cups), but also sit right across Glasgow from one another. They don't just divide the city, either; both clubs draw support from all over Scotland, the British Isles, and the world at large. And if other derbies have a trickle of political strife to them, this one has a waterfall. When the Old Firm play one another, it's not just Rangers vs. Celtic, it's Protestant vs. Catholic, UDA vs. IRA, Britain vs. Ireland, and Loyalism vs. Independence. Pretty heavy stuff for a football match. Always important, always quality, and always controversial, this is the best derby in the world.

Weekend Preview

In Italy and Spain, things seem to have settled back into the status quo, but the Premier League is set for a photo finish. Let's take a look at the key matchups for all three.

KING JUAN CARLOS I

Almeria (8th) vs. Barcelona (2nd). Barca, Barca, Barca. Sigh. I personally think they've blown it at this stage, but there's still plenty of football left to be played. After closing the gap to two points with Real Madrid, they promptly lost to Villareal (no shame there, but you'd hope for at least a draw at home) and are now chasing from eight points back. The safe money says that if they want any shot whatsoever, they'll need a convincing win against Almeria because Madrid has a cupcake game against Coruna. That won't be the easiest of tasks, however. Aside from the injury to NM1 (New Maradona #1) and some dissent in the ranks, they'll be facing a decent Almeria side that has made shockingly good progress since being promoted last season and which plays well at home. Of course, that has been tempered as of late as they've failed to win since February 17th.

The verdict: Almeria don't score very many goals, but they don't concede many, either. And especially not at home, where they're allowing something close to a goal every two games. Not bad for a team that was playing in the Segunda Division last season. However, I think Barca will put their poor performance against the Yellow Submarine behind them and someone (probably Eto'o) will find the net. Almeria 0 - 1 Barcelona.

PRESIDENT GIORGIO NAPOLITANO

Roma (2nd) vs. AC Milan (5th). Easy pick for best game of the week. Here we have two teams going in opposite directions: Roma fresh off their dismantling of Real Madrid in the Champions League, and Milan still bruised from the one they received at the hands of Arsenal. Over the weekend, however, Milan bounced back with a 3-1 smackdown of Empoli as Kaka and Ambrosini contributed two late goals. Roma continued their good form by cruising to victory at Napoli. Both teams have everything to play for here; Roma can really apply the pressure if a very vulnerable looking Inter slip up, and Milan are desperate to reach that fourth Champions League spot.

The verdict: Roma are a very, very good home team. They've only lost once, and that was early in the season when they had to play 10 men against a rampant Inter side (the result was a 4-1 statement game for the champs). Since then, they've been near-perfect at the Stadio Olimpico. However, Milan have been distinctly stronger on the road this year, getting a result 11 of 14 times. Add to that fact that this is their only remaining competition, and you have to believe that their motivation will be greater. But despite this, I think they're too tired and out of sorts at the moment. It took two moments of brilliance to get a win in their last game, and meanwhile, Totti, Taddei, Mancini and Vucinic have all been in sparkling form. There are some good goals in this one, I reckon. Roma 3 - 1 AC Milan.

QUEEN ELIZABETH II

Arsenal (1st) vs. Middlesbrough (12th). I was considering spotlighting Villa vs. Pompey, but since the title race is so close, it just made sense to profile this one. This is a dangerous weekend for Arsenal. They're up by two points, but one can expect that to become a one point deficit as soon as United are done thrashing Derby County. Meanwhile, Chelsea are favorites to gain ground at Sunderland. The Gunners have had three straight draws against opponents they should have beaten. Now, they're up against the only team to defeat them in the league this year. Of course, Boro are having troubles of their own. This month, they've lost to Reading, squandered a great chance to win the FA Cup now that the giants are gone by collapsing against Cardiff, and snatched a draw from the jaws of victory by surrendering a (pretty harsh) penalty to Villa.

The verdict: Van Persie returns. All season long, Gunners fans have been able to turn away criticism and stem despair by pointing to the missing Dutchman (and Rosicky too, but that's another story). That won't be the case anymore, as he is apparently fit and ready for action. If he's the savior everyone has been clamoring for, now would be the chance to prove it. Boro are in a run of bad form and the game is at Fortress Emirates. Expect to hear the old song. Arsenal 1 - 0 Boro.

The Day We Are Awaiting

The Chaaaaampioooooooooons:

Barcelona vs. Celtic. Celtic have a lot to do. Too much, really. I, along with many others, believed that they could take Barca at home, and it looked like they might until Henry and Messi reminded the world why they get paid the big bucks. Now, they're facing a 3-2 deficit and a trip to the Nou Camp, meaning they'll need a two goal victory to go through. Though Atletico offered a blueprint for how to achieve this over the weekend, that was in Madrid and with an a strong, attacking side. Barca have not lost by more than a goal in the Nou Camp in all competitions this year and I think even a gritty, determined Celtic side will be hard-pressed to get a draw here.

Manchester United vs. Lyon. United have the decided edge in this one. Going to Old Trafford and getting a victory is no easy feat. Of course, if Lyon draw 2-2 or higher, they're through. 1-1 even sends things to extra time and penalties. But that late Tevez equalizer in France really took the wind out of Lyon's sails and United have been in absolutely sparkling form. It's true that in recent years they've become overconfident and then been dumped out of the competition, but I can't see that happening until later. Unless, of course, the French Ben's (Zema and Arfa) have the game of their lives against what might be the best Central Defense (Vidic and Ferdinand) in Europe.

Sevilla vs. Fenerbahce. I didn't see the result of the first leg coming, but that's because I forgot about the incredible atmosphere in Istanbul. Graham Poll, the legendary English referee, recently gave his opinion on the Champions League and named it as the most intense environment in the competition. It's no wonder that the Turks won all of their group stage matches played at home. However, Sevilla are substantially better at home than on the road, and bounced back from their CL defeat with a 5-0 mauling of Zaragoza. Fenerbahce aren't a bad team on the road and force many draws, but considering that a 1-0 victory puts Sevilla through, one has to give the Spaniards the edge.

AC Milan vs. Arsenal. If you think a 0-0 draw is necessarily boring, you didn't watch the intricate chess match that these two sides put on at the Emirates. The Arsenal midfield and the Milan defense were the true stars of the match, and a ton of individual skill was on display. However, since Emmanuel Adebayor failed to score in the last minute of that game, Milan return to the intimidating San Siro as favorites in this one. The fact that Arsenal need only finish with a score draw to advance on away goals would be much more comforting to Gunners if their otherwise outstanding team hadn't made a habit of getting thrashed on the road in cup competitions (Spurs in Carling, United in FA). This time around, the key figures will most likely be Kaka and Adebayor. Last time, Fabregas and Flamini did a wonderful job of shadowing the Milan superstar, allowing him to make his feared runs only when there was nowhere to go but the corner or straight into an Arsenal defender. And Adebayor did some good work up front... until it came to finishing. If Kaka breaks out, Milan could win big. If Adebayor isn't rendered toothless by the 4-5-1, receives good link-up play, and finds his magic finishing boots, Arsenal could nick it. And if both things happen, expect a classic.

AC Milan Ooze Class

And here's another example.

Just thought I'd mention it. Things may be quiet here at TLOCA for the moment, but fear not, there's a massive week ahead. Prepare for far more Champions League discussion than is necessary.

Tottenham, on the other hand, don't keep it quite as classy. (Much to my chagrin, though, it would seem as though the brilliant Juande Ramos may have to deal with more of this in the future. With a Cup victory, a shored up backline featuring a resurgent Woodgate, and a newfound confidence, Spurs are a team with a bright future... just as long as nobody pulls a Pacman Jones during these nighttime adventures.)

What A Week

Champions League First Leg Recap

Arsenal 1 - AC Milan 0

It was a hard fought game with the Gunners moving the ball around nicely. Milan's staunch defense seemed as if it would never crack but finally Theo Walcott put a pristine cross on the head of Adebayor (who else, right) who buried the empty netter in stoppage time to give Arsenal a valuable 1 goal lead heading into San Siro.


Liverpool 0 - Nazionale 0

Materazzi anchored a solid Inter defense that turned away Liverpool when opportunities presented themselves. Inter's offensive flood labored some at Anfield but returning home without giving up any unnecessary goals away should pay dividends for them in the second leg. Pool proved that you can't just try really hard when it matters and see results.


Manchester United 0 - Lyon 1

Young French firecracker Benzema showed that even ManU can't overcome talent. Lyon stayed patient on defense and kept some offensive mindset to keep ManU honest. Maintaining that attacking mentality proved well instead of cramming the box with defenders against ManU's offensivibility (offense and inevitability) to hold Chester 1 nil. This result gives Lyon hope as they did not give up the often pivotal goal at home.


Premier League Recap

Arsenal 3 - Birmingham City 1

The bad news is that Eduardo has a high ankle sprain and will be out 6-8 weeks. The good news is that Theo Walcott came in and propelled the gunners to a two-one lead before Adebayor (will he ever slow down?) put the baby to sleep and assured Arsenal of three important points in the scorching race for the Premiership.

Man Utd 2 - NewCastle 1

The Treble got caught score watching and struggled their way to victory against the Magpies. NewCastle after their first drubbing (6 nil) against Manchester made the necessary adjustments and almost held off United before finally conceding a late goal to Cristiano Ronaldo. Roonaldy (Cristi and Wayne) played uninspired and are officially slumping.


Serie A Recap

Juventus 2 - Reggina 1

Juventus established their win last week over Roma as no fluke by beating lowly Reggina the next week. With no Champions League or Coppa Italia to distract them anymore (or ever) Juve can concentrate on the Serie A and work hard to earn the coveted 2nd place finish in the Serie A. Trezeguet took his flu shot in October of last year so that silly things like sickness wouldn't hamper his starts. The inoculation proved effective as he was on the pitch to score the game winner late and in dramatic fashion to keep Juve threatening.

Recap

Oh well... loads of goals where I predicted few, few goals where I predicted many, and as usual, wrong on all counts. Alright, let's make this quick...

Arsenal should have won that game. Adebayor should have scored at (literally) the last minute. But at least they didn't concede an away goal. Now a draw at the San Siro takes them through. I still think they'll do it.

Fabregas was definitely man of the match. He was a thoroughly dominating presence in the midfield, pulling all the strings and punting perfectly weighted balls into the box for the strikeforce. If only he could have passed them to himself, because nobody had their finishing boots on. It was nice to see him back in form after a string of lackluster outings, and to see him do it against a midfield comprised of Pirlo, Kaka, Seedorf, and Gattuso. Also deserving of praise was Senderos, who came on for an injured Kolo Toure early in the game. He's shaken his old reputation (at least for the moment), and was completely solid at the back. I think he'll continue to raise some questions as to a possible starting role.

Milan's defense was the epitome of good organization. I lost count of the number of times they had to deal with corners or looping passes and made it look easy. Paolo Maldini says he'll retire at the end of this season now that he's 39 years old. Maybe he shouldn't; he was Milan's best player and didn't put a foot wrong all day.

And the others...

Celtic almost had it for a second. I guess we all learned what happens when you defend sloppily against a front three of Messi, Henry, and Eto'o. Nothing good. Also, how about that vintage Titi Henry? To those saying he was done: Shhh.

United were unlucky not to score first, but in the end, were lucky to get the draw. Now Lyon have to score and at least draw at Old Trafford. Hardly an easy proposition. I must say, though, that Benzema certainly lived up to the hype with that opener. Pretty.

I guess all of Milan and Arsenal's goals went to Fenerbahce and Sevilla. Fear the Turks!

Well, that's it for now. None of these results has completely settled things, but as of now, you have to like Liverpool, Barca, and United to go through. Everything else is too close to call.

Day Two

Yesterday's matches saw two bores, one solid game, and one fantastic finish. Today, I think we'll see some all-around better play. And personally, these are the matches I've eagerly anticipated.

Celtic vs. Barcelona. That other team that sings "You'll Never Walk Alone" plays today, and you can bet the atmosphere at Parkhead will be out of this world. Barca and Celtic currently find themselves in identical positions in their respective leagues (second), but nobody will argue that the SPL is even in the same solar system as La Liga. That being said, this is not a vintage Barcelona team. Though they're back in the title hunt thanks to Madrid's recent slip, the squad hasn't looked like the world beaters everyone predicted before the start of the season. What's more, Celtic have a history of success in this competition and a reputation in recent years for playing the best clubs down to the wire. They've been on a fantastic run of league form (last three victories: 5-1, 5-1, 3-0) and are at home. I think Barca is ripe for the taking. Bhoys 2 - 1 Cules.

Lyon vs. Manchester United. United made a HUGE statement with their 4-0 dismantling of Arsenal over the weekend. Though both sides were missing some key players, it was a far cry from a reserves game, and United made it clear that even five points adrift, they're still the champs and the team to beat. Of course, which United will show up today? The one that was put to the sword (twice!) by Man City? Or the one that scored six goals in a half against Newcastle and just smacked down their biggest title rivals? That's the big question because based on sheer talent and depth, this should be the best team in Europe. Lyon are no slouches, though. They're holding on to the top spot in Ligue 1, are captained by free kick wizard Juninho, have Italian stud Fabio Grosso in their back line, and possess two of the most explosive young talents in Karim Benzema and Hatem Ben Arfa.* With those two marauding the front lines, United will have to be really careful not to get hit on the break. I foresee a high scoring affair, but can anyone really see the Red Devils losing this game? OL 2 - 3 MUFC.

*How much you want to bet that these two will be wearing AIG on their chests next year? Especially if they put in a good performance tonight.

Arsenal vs. AC Milan. Ah, yes. What a matchup. So many ways to spin this, and it always sounds good: Youth vs. Experience. Form vs. Class. Fabregas vs. Kaka. New Gattuso (Flamini) vs. Actual Gattuso. Attack vs. Attack. The expectations are certainly high to see some joga bonito from these two sides, but will it meet them? Honestly, probably not. But that doesn't mean this won't be a good game, and it'll certainly be the most important one of the year for both sides. Arsenal need to rebound the way they did the last time a major rival (Tottenham) smashed them out of a cup competition (Carling). Right now, it's just this and the league, and one way or another, they have to finish with silverware to call this year a success. Meanwhile, Milan need to show they haven't lost the plot, begin their title defense well, and keep their challenge for fourth in the Serie A looking legitimate. Now that Milan have found their home form, if Arsenal want any chance to take this, they have to win or at the very least prevent Milan from scoring. Anything less than a 0-0 draw will spell elimination. Anything more than a 1-0 win should give them the breathing room they need to go to the San Siro and advance. At the Fortress Emirates, I believe this is possible. Gunners 2 - 0 Rossoneri.

Fenerbahce vs. Sevilla. Oh, who am I kidding. Nobody cares. Well, I guess that's a bit harsh - Sevilla are a very good team, and they seem to be finding their form after a stuttering first half to their league season. They lost and then won against Arsenal in convincing fashion in the group stages, and ended up on top when Wenger stopped playing first-teamers. Let's also not forget their recent run of success in European competition: two UEFA Cups and a Super Cup in the last two years. They also added a Copa del Rey and a Spanish Super Cup last year. Basically, this team is incredible when it comes to knockout competitions. Fenerbahce, meanwhile, are the reigning champions of Turkey, and finished second in their group amidst some serious competition in Inter, PSV, and CSKA Moscow. They did manage to beat Inter at home, but were thrashed in the away game. My head knows they're not a bad side, it really does. I just can't take them seriously. That's why I think a Sevilla dedicated to offensive tactics will take a precious away goal back to Spain with them, where they'll finish the job. The Yellow Canaries 1 - 1 The Cup Specialists.

What Have We Learned?

Since we missed the weekend prediction (doesn't matter, they would've all been wrong), it's time to do the reverse and look back at what has become evident these past few days.


SPAIN

Real are for real, and will win La Liga. This isn't going out on too much of a limb, but they're really beginning to put an official stamp on this season. The whole team was lining up to score against Valladolid yesterday, and they've shown no signs of relenting in their pursuit of back to back titles. Barca, held to a draw, are fading fast and are now 8 points adrift. Julio Baptista, who showed only brief moments of quality with Arsenal last season, has really come into his own with los Merengues. Wenger chose to use La Bestia as a center forward because of his size and strength, either alone or partnered up front. With Real, he's been used in his preferred role as an attacking midfielder, and it has really paid dividends for them. Barcelona may have grabbed the preseason headlines for its deadly attack, but perhaps people underestimated the combined chemistry of Raul, van Nistelrooy, Robben, and Baptista. Throw in Robinho as a substitute winger or second striker, and you've got the makings of another title. This one is over.

[Note: Arsenal vs. AC Milan and Liverpool vs. Inter are certainly mouthwatering Champions League ties, but I personally can't wait to see Roma take on this Madrid squad. There could be some very attractive football on display.]


ITALY

Milan are stringing together another incredible run. Initially sparked by the brilliance of young Alexandre the Duck, continued by the skill of Pirlo and Gilardino, and now sustained by luck (like all good runs), Milan have put together an impressive response to those (like me) who thought their shot at a Top Four spot might be gone. In the Champions League, this doesn't bode particularly well for Arsenal, as Milan have really picked up their form and dropped the Jekyll and Hyde act which characterized the first half of their season. Instead, they're finding ways to win and are finally having success at the San Siro. While Fiorentina are no slouches, Milan have a hungry look about them, and I like their chances to finish fourth.


ENGLAND

Manchester United are a complete enigma. During this season, we've learned that United have the best player in the world, the most dangerous attack and stingiest defense in England, perhaps the deepest bench in Europe, and yet under the right circumstances, are eminently beatable. Sir Alex Ferguson has called this perhaps his best squad ever (which is saying A LOT), and yet they're in second place and have lost four times this season. It's true that there is still a long way to go, and they remain in the hunt for three major trophies, but one cannot help but wonder if performances like the lackluster display against City won't come back to bite them. If Arsenal take advantage of United's loss and Chelsea's draw with Liverpool to pull three points further away, harnessing the power of Fergie's frustration would enable the city of Manchester to go green for weeks.

[Note: Did anyone watch the Manchester Derby? Great stuff. It began with a commemoration for the victims of the Munich Air Disaster of 1958, and commenced with a minute of silence. Because of the deep rivalry between Man U and Man City, there were fears that the City fans would disrupt this solemn occasion with jeers and chants. Instead, the whole thing went off beautifully. Seeing 70,000 fans of rival clubs come together in silence, holding their scarves high with pride and respect, is what sports is all about.]

Weekend Preview

You know the drill.

SPAIN

Barcelona (2nd) vs. Osasuna (15th). You know La Liga is done and dusted for Real Madrid when this becomes the most interesting fixture of the weekend. It's true, though; Barca desperately need to string together a series of victories if they want any chance at catching Los Merengues. Last week at Bilbao was a gimme, but Fernando Llorente stunned them eleven minutes from time to split the points. Now they face lowly Osasuna at home. The Pamplona club have been woeful and in danger of relegation this season after a year which saw them reach the semifinals of the UEFA Cup.

The verdict: I mean, one has to predict a Barcelona victory, right? Not so fast. The club has scored only two goals in their last three matches. Yes, Eto'o is currently missing at the ACN, but Ronaldinho should be back, giving them three of the most dangerous players in the world at the fore of their attack. As Juan put it in our last power rankings: "Something is wrong with this team. I honestly don't know what it is yet but I'm on it." Well, I think we'll still have to get back to you on that one, but in the meantime, I'll continue to put (misplaced) trust in Titi and Leo to eek out a win: Underachievers 2 - 1 Regressing Overachievers.

ITALY

Fiorentina (4th) vs. AC Milan (6th). This weekend's Serie A action will offer something I don't believe I've ever seen before. The three best teams (Inter, Roma, and Juve) are playing the three worst (Empoli, Siena, Cagliari). Which leaves us to focus on this extremely important match. There was never any doubt that Fiorentina have emerged from Serie B promotion and the matchfixing scandals as one of Italy's stronger sides. The question for this season, with Luca Toni off to Germany, was whether Adrian Mutu could assume a greater share of the scoring duty. Well, question answered. As a reward, Firenze sit in Champions League position, but Milan are gunning hard for it. Pato has been a revelation for them (I can't recall a seventeen year-old playing with such poise since Arsenal's own Cesc Fabregas) and the Rossoneri are slowly but surely working their way into striking distance of the top.

Verdict: The talent of Milan is starting to tell, with players like Gilardino, Pirlo, and Kaka finding their form in a string of victories. That being said, this is a very evenly matched game, and Fiorentina are at home. Let's call it a draw: La Viola 1 - 1 Il Diavolo.

ENGLAND

Man City (6th) vs. Arsenal (2nd). This weekend has a lot of solid matchups. Chelsea go to Portsmouth, Everton take on Blackburn, and Tottenham get another shot at United, this time at home (still won't happen, Spurs fans). This has to be the pick, though. Arsenal have cruised through their last few games, defeating Fulham and Newcastle twice, so they've yet to see real opposition. City, after a great start, have been in an awful rut. They got knocked out by balloons in the FA Cup (I was watching this, and it was truly absurd - did anyone else see this?) and then drew (!) with Derby County yesterday. Since Derby have become the Premier League ATM for three points, this is a real problem.

The verdict: Sven will have them up for it and City are very tough at home, but Arsenal are playing very well. Last time, Fabregas was the difference, blasting a winner in the 80th minute (his favorite time to score). Richard Dunne and Micah Richards are a formidable pair to break down, but at the moment, you'd expect a red-hot Adebayor and the phenomenal box-to-box play of Flamini to tip the scales in the Gunners' favor: Blue Moon 0 - 1 The Boys in Red and White.

Weekend Preview

We look ahead to the three biggest matchups in La Liga, Serie A, and the Premiership, respectively.

SPAIN

Atletico Madrid (3rd) vs. Real Madrid (1st). Los Blancos are coming off a tough week that saw their chance at a Treble canceled out by Mallorca in the Copa del Rey. They'll need to regain focus quickly against an Atletico side pulling an Arsenal this season and giving further credence to the Bill Simmons "Ewing Theory." Los Indios can do a lot for themselves (and Barca) if 19 year old wunderkind Sergio Aguero continues to make his partnership with Diego Forlan pay off in goals; this Argentine-Uruguayan alliance has already netted 16 in La Liga.

The verdict: A draw. Both teams are playing extremely well at the moment, and even though San Iker* stops most everything (including the ladies' hearts) , Atletico will get a result at home in this capital city derby. They'll also snap his 5 game clean sheet run. 1-1.

ITALY

Udinese (4th) vs. AC Milan (12th!). At this point, Milan qualifying for the Champions League is looking more likely to come from an outright victory in this year's competition. Their league form (especially at home) has been absolutely woeful, with just one recently recorded victory. Meanwhile, Udinese are sitting in the spot Milan probably believe is rightfully theirs as they continue to grind out results.

The verdict: Udinese has been more than solid at home, but methinks Milan are hitting their stride. An 18 year-old duck made an impressive debut for them in their first home win, and this will carry over to victory on the weekend. Plus, they're not at the San Siro, which for some reason seems to help them. Udinese 1 - 3 Jekyll/Hyde.

ENGLAND

Liverpool (4th) vs. Aston Villa (6th). A Monday game, so it's not technically the weekend, but close enough. I think it's pretty fair to say that the Premiership is a three horse race at this point. That being said, Liverpool need to maintain their tenuous grasp (they're among four teams sitting on 39 points, albeit with a game in hand) on fourth and a CL spot. Oh, and save Rafa Benitez's job, too. In recent years they've been a second half team, but this won't be easy; Villa are playing good football and their quick young wingers, Ashley Young and Gabriel Agbonlahor, are a scary test for any defense.

The verdict: Will it be the same backs-against-the-wall response that we saw against Besiktas in the Champions League? Highly doubtful. However, with the fans and players firmly behind Rafa, one would expect to see an inspired display at Anfield. Reds 2 - 0 Villans.


*Speaking of Iker Casillas, I have a treat for everyone. Google Eva Gonzalez. You won't regret it.