In the Words of Ice Cube...

"It was a good day." In fact, it was a great football weekend. Let's recap...

I got my grub on, but didn't pig out; finally got a call from a girl I wanna dig out...

Aston Villa 2 - 2 Manchester United. In a way, a United loss would have been pigging out - I don't think I'm alone in having the feeling that if they lost this one, they would bounce back with a five spot against Wigan next weekend. Instead, they get to maintain a false sense of security in their unbeaten run, and can ignore that they've been leapfrogged in the table, drawn two in a row, are relying on the likes of Park and Vidic to get them out of jail, and should have never even beaten Wolves last week. Ring ring. Hello, who's there? Oh, hey Aston Villa... are you telling me you're going to start playing like the side that routinely competes for fifth or sixth and gives the top teams trouble? So good to hear from you...

Looking in my mirror, not a jacker in sight - and everything is alright...

Manchester City 0 - 0 Birmingham City. As an Arsenal fan, please allow me to redirect something towards Citeh, something that every Arsenal hater has been telling me ad infinitum (and not without good reason) for the past few years: "these are the games you have to win to be a contender." Chelsea, Arsenal, and United are looking in their rear view mirrors, and they're increasingly unafraid of what they see.

Saw the police, and they rolled right past me...

Juventus 1 - Roma 1. This is not so much a positive as it is an aversion of disaster (for both teams). All in all, a very entertaining match, and either side could have won (and either side could have had players booked or even sent off, especially near the end when it got chippy). But as it is, two good teams made sure they didn't lose big while going for the win, and two fine strikers added to their tally. Nobody got arrested, and the title remains a viable goal.

Woke her up around one, she didn't hesitate to call Ice Cube the top gun...

Barcelona 3 - 1 Villareal. I don't hesitate to call Leo Messi the top gun, and neither should you. Two goals from him (he's so good, that I expect him to score his first the way he does now... he's officially patented the double give and go, and we're all spoiled for it), and the Blaugrana got to sit top for about 24 hours.

Today was like one of those fly dreams...

Chelsea 0 - 3 Sunderland. The kind of fly dream where Sunderland drop three goals. On Chelsea. At Stamford Bridge. Three well-deserved goals, might I add. It was the kind of fly dream in which Ashley Cole passes it directly to the other team to set up an icing-on-the-cake goal. Well played, Steve Bruce. Well played Danny Welbeck and Asamoah Gyan. And extremely well played Nedum Onuoha, doing his best Messi imitation for the opener. Mmm, positively dreamy.

Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp, and it read: "Ice Cube's a pimp."

Hercules 2 - 1 Real Sociedad and Atletico Madrid 3 - 0 Osasuna. The Goodyear Blimp being La Liga (make of that what you will), and the shining lights being two TLOCA favorites, David Trezeguet (captured in the act of reasoning with the ball and convincing it that the goal is its proper home) and Diego Forlan, who got back on target for their respective sides. That's just a nice bonus, and a reminder that class is permanent. When Trez and Forlan go to sleep at night, they see their names on that blimp.

Drunk as hell, but no throwing up...

Everton 1 - 2 Arsenal. Arsenal continue to grind out tough wins on the road while surrendering easy ones at home. We scored two classy goals (Bacary!?!), and got a little too comfortable. But despite getting drunk and reeling a bit at the end, Lukasz Fabianski provided the voice of reason and prevented us from pulling the trigger and losing two points. We may have a bit of a hangover tomorrow, but thank goodness we didn't boot all over Goodison Park. Although we wouldn't have been the first to do it.

I got to say, it was a good day.

Amen. (And Jose Mourinho and AC Milan agree.)

Welcome Back David Trezeguet

He's been back since September 12th but yesterday, with his late goal against Genoa, he debuted his trademark joy (pictured).


Juventus 2, Tasty Salami 2

The match started off with a bang after Camorenesi dummied a cross to an overlapping Vincenzo who struck well from outside the box. It was the type of play that pays homage to The Beautiful Game and its always nice to see Iaquinta on the score sheet. What was set out to be a trap game was on pace to end 15-nil and I thought, "what a shame to watch a record-setting match on a grainy, small, frustrating feed."

If you didn't know, Juventus made some very relevant transfers this off-season and while Diego, Felipe Melo, and Cannavaro may steal the headlines, the best one of them all was the acquisition of Fabio Grosso from Lyon. He needs no introduction, of course, but it is worth noting that he replaced my arch-rival and nemesis-till-death, Molinaro. And if you're not that familiar with Juventus, that's like replacing Nicklas Bendtner with Fernando Torres.

Before I forget, another hilariously pleasing signing resulted in Uruguayan Martin Caceres joining the Old Lady - seen here about to carefully end another man's career. The website mentions a tradition of Uruguayan players joining Juventus and at first I thought that pretty awesome until I realized these are the men responsible for my impending nervous breakdown. Caceres is only 22 and yes, he is a very promising Uruguayan defender. Which is to say, he's extremely rare. Here's to wishing him a long and prosperous career at La Juve and more importantly, la Selecion.

In fact, Uruguayan nationals keep popping up all over the place lately. I watched the Real Madrid v Villareal match just the other day and who do I see but two Uruguayans, Eguren and Diego Godin. The best part about that video is that Carlos Tevez, who's knows Godin well, gives him a cheap shot and it's Eguren that confronts him with a sarcastic, he's not really hurt but you're the exact same asshole I remember you as, lecture. Anyway, moving right along.

It's after half-time at this point, all knotted up at 1's. Juventus lacks the final pass during attacking plays to lead to any relevant chances on goal. When Juventus struggles it's because the midfielders play long-balls over the top rather than use the fullbacks for a slower build-up. It sort of comes with the territory in the Serie A. Not soon after a seemingly innocuous run down the sideline for the Cured Meat suddenly turns malicious and a header is smashed home near post. I'm listening to the Italian announcers and could have sworn I heard the name Crespo.

This sends me scrambling to Gamecast, that pathetic excuse for following a game and I see H. Crespo has apparently scored. No, now I know I'm crazy. Hernan Crespo? Yes, it is. The man who could never quite fill the shoes of Gabriel Batitusta (could anyone) is on loan at Genoa. Not only that, he just put them ahead. Daggers - 76'.

Then Iaquinta scores - disallowed dubiously for offsides. Then Chiellini scores - disallowed dubiously for offsides. Am I witnessing a scandal? The replay shows Trezeguet, who flicked it up for Giorgio, onside by a full two yards. What's going on here?

I'm irate until, yep, David Trezeguet scores the equilizer and follows up with his spot-on impression of the happiest man on earth. The smile is contagious and just like that I'm ok with 1 point.

Welcome back David. I've missed you.
(actual game photo -->)

Weekend Preview

It seems like England's been getting all the attention lately, what with their preeminence in the Champions League, but it'll be an interesting weekend in all three leagues.

PAELLA

Sevilla (6th) vs. Villareal (2nd). Last weekend, Villareal launched themselves into second and made a huge statement by smashing Atletico Madrid 3-0. Now, this game will signal to Real Madrid whether or not they should be legitimately concerned or just leetle scared. Conversely, Sevilla have had the absolute worst run-in over the past few weeks; first losing to Atletico, and then to los Blancos. Now they face a test against a red hot Villareal side with legitimate title ambitions. If Real Madrid slip up against Mallorca (a real possibility if Guiza shows up), then things could get very interesting.

The verdict: Even though Sevilla are at home, they haven't looked very threatening since their crushing exit from the Champions League at the hands of Fenerbahce. They're on a nice little losing streak to the top teams, and Villareal have shown themselves to be just that. They did a good job handling Atletico's potent front two, and they'll have a real test trying to mark Fabiano, Kanoute, and speedy right back Dani Alves, but I think they can do it. Villareal have shown they can play attractive attacking football under any circumstances, and hey, defending is less of an issue when you dominate possession like them. Where's Juande? 1 - 3 Spanish Arsenal.

SPAGHETTI

Atalanta (9th) vs. Internazionale (1st). Inter will have mixed feelings about Roma's 2-0 defeat in the Champions League this week. On the one hand, it demonstrates vulnerability and the potential for a collapse. On the other hand, it may mean that Roma will commit all energy toward pulling themselves out of their four point deficit in the league. Either way, Inter need to focus on themselves, as they remain in the driver's seat. This week, they'll be playing an inconsistent Atalanta side. The other Nerazzuri (prepare for this game to appear confusing; Atalanta and Inter have identical home uniforms) beat AC Milan handily at the San Siro in their last Serie A outing, but are floundering around down in 9th. Doni and Floccari were excellent for them then, but must be considered streaky players at best. They've also got the other (lesser) Inzaghi coming off their bench, but that shouldn't concern Inter too much.

The verdict: I can't shake the ease with which Atalanta's attack broke down Milan's defense last week. I know that Inter aren't Milan, and are far better organized at the back, but they've been in a bad spell. Draw with Genoa, defeated by Juve, draw with Lazio... I think Atalanta can take something from this match. I see a game with Inter dominating possession and scoring but getting hit on the break by the Doni-Floccari combo for an equalizer. 1-1.

FISH AND CHIPS

Arsenal (3rd) vs. Liverpool (4th). For the original Star Wars trilogy and even for The Godfather, there are many who would argue that the second installment shines through as the finest. However, I'm predicting this match will be more like the second Indiana Jones movie: ugly, filled with bit players, and kind of a letdown. That's not to say it won't be interesting, though. The game means a lot more to Arsenal, who refuse to concede the title when there's still mathematical hope. What this means is that Liverpool will likely rest key players before the epic Part 3 of this series, and that Arsenal will be forced to play their increasingly worn-out starters.

The verdict: Arsenal distinctly had the better of play in the last two matchups between these giants of English football, but have had to settle for 1-1 results on both occasions. With Benitez keeping his eye on the big European prize, and rivals for the fourth spot Everton facing a tough run-in, one can expect to see a lot of rotating (his trademark) for this one. I foresee a relatively cagey affair, with Tuesday's showdown at Anfield looming, but Arsenal want and need this result more. Red-and-Whites 1 - 0 Reds.

Villa(un)real!

Weekend Recap:

1) Can anyone challenge Manchester United? Right now they're a runaway bus, steamrolling anything in their path, unable to be stopped, and led by a very handsome man who inspires the utmost loathing in his detractors. Kind of like the movie Speed, if Keanu Reeves were really good at his chosen profession in the way Ronaldo dominates his own. The Portuguese phenom is already inspiring debate as to whether or not he's the greatest player the EPL has ever seen (unfortunate for Arsenal and Chelsea), and Keanu Reeves is still making films (unfortunate for everyone). I happen to think he's a shoe-in for every accolade this season (including "hater of the year"), but would hesitate before calling him the best ever in the league. But if he keeps this up for just one more season, then I think he's earned the right to be talked about with Henry, Shearer, Bergkamp, Zola, and the rest. He certainly helped his case with the opener against Villa which was as beautifully executed as it was audacious.

2) Arsenal aren't finished yet. Wenger calls their victory over Bolton the greatest comeback he can remember, and I can't argue. Easter was a disaster, but the Gunners rose from the dead a week later with a gritty and fortune-favored second half. After struggling against Birmingham, Wigan, and Boro, Arsenal evidently need to be two goals and a man down before they really get going. However, that particular formula for victory won't work against Liverpool in the Champions League (as Inter will be all too happy to tell you), so Arsenal best be on their game on Wednesday if they want any shot at advancing.

3) Villareal completely outclassed Atletico Madrid. It wasn't as though los Indios were playing poorly, either, they simply ran into a squad that have real self-confidence and desperately want to contend for the title. The yellow submarine have been consistently providing some of the best teamwork in the game (watch the way they work the goals below). The question now, though, is whether Real Madrid have lost a title rival, or gained one? Barcelona look done after their stunning second-half collapse against Betis, and Villareal have supplanted them in second with a great run. They're currently six points back, and though you still have to like Real's chances, they still have to play Barcelona again this season. Villareal, meanwhile, have a cozy run for the rest of the year, with their toughest opposition coming in an away game against Sevilla next week. It's a good opportunity for another statement game.



Wonderful teamwork, but I think we all know the real secret of their success: long, flowing locks of hair. With Gonzalo Rodriguez, Pires, Santi Cazorla, and numerous others, no club has better.

4) Inter are at sixes and sevens. Their lead is at four points, but it feels a lot smaller. Roma did them a huge favor by drawing at Cagliari, but remain right on their tail. Something working in Inter's favor: Roma must play red-hot Manchester United in the CL. Probably not good for momentum. Things working in Roma's favor: Inter still have to play Fiorentina and AC Milan in the league, and have a much more difficult Coppa Italia draw in Lazio. That'll mean less rest for their big players. This one ain't over, folks.

5) AC Milan are in a tailspin. And there's no sign of it ending anytime soon. Future fixtures include Juventus (in Turin), Inter, and Udinese at the very end of the season. They're in sixth place and ninth-place Atalanta just carved up their defense like fresh cold cuts. 1-2 was a very flattering scoreline, and it could have easily been 4 or 5 for Serie A's other Nerazzurri. They're only four points out of fourth, but on current form and with their remaining schedule, I don't think they'll make it. I reckon it's probably time to bid farewell not only to Paolo Maldini, but to the fantastic dynasty of world football he helped build.

Weekend Preview

Looking ahead to the biggest matchups in La Liga, Serie A, and the FA Cup, respectively.

SPAIN

Real Madrid (1st) vs. Villareal (3rd). Los Merengues passed their first test of the second half with flying colors, edging a strong Atletico side 2-nil last weekend. Atletico's front partnership of Forlan and Aguero got a lot of the headlines going in, but it was Real's aging-like-fine-wine strikeforce of Raul and van Nistelrooy that decided the match. Oh, and Iker Casillas made two or three incredible saves (yawn) to run his clean sheet record to six matches straight in La Liga. Villareal, meanwhile, are quietly having a great season. They've been injury-free all year (oh snap, there's a jinx waiting to happen), and are putting a strong challenge in to regain Champions League football, something they've gone without for two seasons. Nihat has been in fine form up front, Pires is showing he's got something left in the tank, and the most talented young American (er, Italian... what kind of crap is this) in world soccer has 8 goals in La Liga competition.

The verdict: Sorry, Villareal. Real Madrid have been completely dominant at the Bernabeu, scoring 23, conceding 7, and winning all 9 games played. Count on them to sink el Submarino Amarillo, but Iker really can't keep this up, can he? Real Madrid 2 - 1 Villareal.

ITALY

Udinese (5th) vs. Inter Milan (1st). Poor Udinese. Playing well all season, they're now faced by the second of two Milan juggernauts in two weeks. But just because they've become Job for the scheduling gods, doesn't mean there's not hope. Last week, Inter struggled mightily against a mediocre (that's charitable) Parma side. In fact, they had no business DRAWING that game, let alone winning it. Instead, a harsh 88th minute penalty for handball was converted by Ibrahimovic, who then won it with an excellently controlled ball in injury time. Udinese were also extremely unlucky to lose last week, defending well, but falling victim to poor refereeing decisions and then Gilardino's extra time strike.

The verdict: Things probably won't get any better for Udinese. Fiorentina is sitting in what was their fourth place spot, and look like a sheed to defeat lowly Empoli. Inter can't afford to drop points with Roma churning out results, and they won't. Udinese 0 - 1 Inter.

ENGLAND

Manchester United vs. Tottenham Hotspur (FA Cup 4th Round). Tottenham dismantled (there's no other word for it) the old enemy on Tuesday in front of a giddy White Hart Lane. To get to this fixture, new manager Juande Ramos took them past a solid Reading side without conceding a goal (!). It's for good reason, then, that many Spurs fans are proclaiming the corner turned. Not so fast, though. Their next three fixtures, including this one, are: away to Man U, away to Everton, and home to Man U. That's brutal. If they get out of that stretch with one win, I'll be convinced they're finally on track.

The verdict: Scoring is never a problem for Spurs; they're only two behind (44) leaders Man U and Arsenal (46) in the league. However, they can't stop conceding. On Tuesday, even when playing near-perfectly, they couldn't keep a clean sheet. Ronaldo, Rooney, and Tevez aren't going to let them, either. Man U 3 - 1 Spurs.