Fresh Juicy Mangoes

Dan Quayle would be proud of this fellow. For the neutral observer, it was a fantastic weekend of football. As an Arsenal supporter, it wasn't so great; I'll just quickly say a few words about that stinker against Newcastle and it's this: no excuses. We put out almost as strong a squad as we could; no Vermaelen or fit RVP, but whatever, this is almost as good as it gets. Cesc, Nasri, Wilshere, Walcott, Chamakh, Song. We should be scoring. And at home, we must be winning with that lineup. MUST. OK, rant over. Now, a few thoughts:

(1) Fernando Torres took two enormous bites of the mango this weekend. And with cool, slightly sticky mango juice spilling down his handsome chin, he lit a fire under Liverpool. For the first half, they looked like the squad their teamsheet has always threatened to be - killing themselves for every ball in midfield, working hard, defending as a unit, smothering Chelsea, and letting El Nino do his thing up front. That was so much fun to watch. It certainly made the poop sandwich (with a side of Andy Carroll and Joey Barton) I had just swallowed a half hour before that much easier to digest. In the second half, Chelsea had an Arsenal kind of day, lots of possession, lots of dallying, and then, when they finally got the ball into dangerous positions, they wasted their chances or were thwarted by excellent goalkeeping. I felt their pain.

(2) Roma won what might be the most intense, ill-tempered derby in football right now against league-leaders Lazio. (Frankly, I'd be too terrified to attend one of these matches.) You know Francesco Totti is nearing the end when I'm slightly relieved to see him not on the teamsheet. Also, I'm sorry to say it, but Muslera really should do better with Boriello's miserable excuse for a penalty. Good thing they had Vucinic take the second one. Who, by the way, has the angriest, most bizarre, goal celebrations around right now. He's the best.

(3) This brings me to my next point: the Serie A is bonkers. With all the focus on the EPL and La Liga, it's easy to forget that an Italian club won the CL last year. If I'm a club in the Champions League, I want no part of Inter, Roma, or Milan this year. All three clubs, while flawed, are completely unpredictable, and I could easily see one of them going to the final this year. Don't look now, but they're all on track to make the knockouts...

(4) La Liga wants no part of the (relative) parity taking hold of the EPL, Serie A, or Bundesliga (actual parity, there). But that's OK, because Mourinho vs. Barca is good fun. Juan predicted that the title returns to Madrid this year, and frankly, it's hard to argue with him. In fact, I think I'll go one better: Mourinho wins the treble with Madrid, and then leaves within the next two years to replace Fergie at Man United. It's happening.

(5) Speaking of which... Ji-Sung Park? Surely United cannot keep this up. If they somehow stay competitive for the title, then Fergie has definitely refinanced the third mortgage on his soul.

Until next time, gents.

Define Classy

Whenever I want to feel dumb I seek out the cartoons of the New Yorker. I fully understand a cartoon at an average that would embarrass even Alphonso Soriano. The mind games are rampant as well. "Oh that's funny, I get that one... ...wait, do I get it? That seemed too easy... I probably don't get it - let me read this a few more times to see if there is something more clever."

Whenever I want to feel smart, I check out the recaps at Soccernet of games I watched . They did not let me down:
The headline would be brilliant in it's sarcasm if only the story beneath it was in any way concordant. But this is football in England and complaints of physical play is the worst kind of faux pas.

I am of course referring to two of the most obvious fouls witnessed in recent memory. This was more egregious than when Fletcher slid into Arshavin and cradled the ball in his arms in the box and far more obvious than the Henry double tap-that. The first foul was Thiago Motta on Ivanovic and the second was Walter Samuel on Didier Drogba. Both were in the box.

If a director were to recreate the scene, the conversation would go something like this:
OK. Ivanovic stole the purse of an old lady, you, Thiago, can only use his arm to get him to the ground. Go! [Thiago proceeds with both of his hands to grab Ivanovic's arm and after some pulling and yanking, eventually gets Ivanovic to the turf] [End scene].
The second foul, with Samuel neutralizing Drogs, looked something like this.
It is quite obvious that Inter sought to ruffle a few feathers on the Chelsea side and the result was a first half that looked like Terry Tate vs. Chelsea Office Workers - with Mourinho playing the role of Ron Felcher.

There is no doubt that if this were Arsenal and fouls like that went uncalled I would be beside myself. And the replay of the Samuel's form tackle on Drogba even had the commentators blushing. But there is also no doubt that Arsene would mention both incidents in a condescending way in the post-game conference, so while I'm not blaming Carlo Ancelotti for his lack of complaints, no comment is the same as no concern.

The only one who seems to be outraged is Drogba. This is the same person who was punished for calling the officials a disgrace when very few had done so last year and it's the same striker who again let his emotions get the better of him. He decided he had been run into enough, elbowed enough, clawed enough and kicked too many times and with no referee protection, can you really blame him for standing up for himself? I don't. At least not this time.

And so the Chelsea Champions League Curse continues.

Myeoma, myeoma and Weekend Preview

Touch, touch, touch, and touch. If Uruguay does well at the World Cup there is a good chance I'll play this song on repeat and dance for 36 hours straight. Normally Jim Stanley does the Weekend Preview but I've decided to give it a crack.

(all times Eastern)

Saturday

7:45 am - Stoke City vs. Wigan Athletic
Before you immediately X the screen and get annoyed that you've doubly wasted your time reading this blog, just remember that this game is on Espn. So out of principle, since we all want Espn to buy more Premier League games, you should tune in. Not to mention that getting up to watch soccer is the most pleasant of alarm clocks. You can snooze a little during half-time or have breakfast. Soccer this early in the morning is a good thing, even if it is only between two squads that are frisky at best.

10:00 am - Bolton vs. Manchester City
The Citeh is on a tear as of late and this match is on Fox Soccer Channel. In case our reader didn't know, Veetle.com is a nice place to watch any games currently showing on FSC or GolTV if you don't get those channels at home. And so far as I know I haven't downloaded any viruses or had my identity stolen yet. Manchester City is a permanent fixture on my watch-list this year if they don't conflict with the other TLOCA teams because they are one of two teams in my opinion that can break up the big four (pictured*). The other team was Hull City at the beginning of the season but now is more reasonably Tottenham if only for their propensity to explode offensively.

12:30 pm - Manchester United vs. Aston Villa FSC (note the 30 minute lunch break)
As much as I want to hype this contest to be a close one I can't bring myself to do it. United will be playing at Old Trafford having won its last 5 meaningful games and Aston Villa, who choke harder than Latrelle Sprewell, have tied or lost 7 of their last 10 games. Only one of those came against the big four, Chelsea. This one will end 3 nil and by the 80th minute you'll realize suddenly it's been an extremely one-sided contest and a typical United win. BOOOO. Whatever, its still the U, and therefore you must watch.

2:30 pm - Bari vs. Juventus FSC
No, the bitterness hasn't subsided yet. This year the inevitable Juventus crash out of the Champions League was a bit more sour than usual simply because this year's team was a better team than last year, and much more suited for the CL. All of this in spite of the fact that it was clear they didnt' have it, whatever it is that makes a team's impending failures tremendously obvious. Think Hleb and Flamini leaving with no reasonable replacements at Arsenal. So, in summary, David Trezeguet should be starting and that's why you should watch.

Sunday

9:00 am - Atalanta vs. Inter
This is a highly comical match-up we, as followers, are privy to twice a year because Atalanta and Inter have the exact same uniforms. Thus, if you're hung over just enough you might go the whole first half wondering when Inter signed Robert Acquafresca and why he's starting over Samuel Eto'o. To be frank, the only reason I watch Inter nowadays is because I hate Jose Mourinho and I want to understand why Inter, with their mostly uninspiring squad achieves any success at all. I don't get it and it's almost as if every time I watch them play I get further and further from the answer.

11:00 am - Liverpool vs. Arsenal FSC
If you had forgotten, Arshavin scored four goals against this team in what was the most disappointing yet insignificant draw in Arsenal history. I expect a win and even though Torres will be back and will surely score a hat-trick, we should still win 5-3. This game is unfortunately somewhat irrelevant since the season will be decided for Arsenal come January 27th, when they play, in order, Aston Villa, Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool. I am not looking forward to that.

Enjoy the weekend.




*From left to right; David Lloyd (Britain), Vittorio Orlando (Italy), George Clemenceau (France) and Woody Wilson (USA). The beauty of this photo, also coined, "The Big Four," is that Arsenal is clearly Clemenceau, Man Utd Woodrow, Chelsea Lloyd, though those two can be interchanged, and Vittorio, Liverpool, is trying to stay relevant even then. I think we know how this story ends. I feel like I've written this before...

Why I've Been Absent

Juan called me out the other day, and it's totally true: I've been nothing but a big fat dead carcass when it comes to this blog. I'm the Lucas to his Gerrard, the Diaby to his Fabregas. His shoulders should ache from carrying me on his back, and his lungs must hurt from all the disappointed sighs he must emit when he opens this blog and finds that SURPRISE! I have haven't added a single thing to it.

So let me go ahead and give the reasons why I've been absent, in no particular order.

1) I'm scared to jinx things. And by "things," I mean "Arsenal." Because I haven't felt this good about the team since the beginning of the 2007-2008 season. And before that (dare I say it?): 2004. I love the way they're playing: I love the swagger, I love the focus, I love how Vermaelen looks like evil Jude Law, I love the minimalist Fabregas goal-celebrations (taking a page out of Mr. Henry's book, of course, but then cutting loose for the one against Spurs, which I also love), I love Arsene trying to keep the team off everyone's radar, I love Gallas burying his crazy and performing like the world class defender he obviously thinks he is, I love the squad depth, and most of all, I love the football. Arsene says that soccer can be art, and if that's true, we're painting Picasso's on an almost weekly basis. So yeah, I didn't want to jinx any of that.

2) The Serie A is simply failing to capture my attention. In every single way. And maybe that's not fair, but let's see: Roma is pretty awful, Inter is winning the league despite not looking all that dominant, Juve are chasing, Fiorentina and Milan are in the mix. Are we sure they're not just rerunning last season and changing the names of the relegated teams for TV purposes? Juan, I'm relying on you to explain to me why I should care about a league that is falling behind the other two in the Big Three (and David Trezeguet's infectious smile after scoring goals is not a legitimate reason, though it is totally awesome). What (and who) should I be watching? Pato? Gilardino? Juve, after their big win over Atalanta? I need guidance here.

3) I'm waiting to see if Real Madrid's Galacticos will get worse. Because when they hit rock bottom (if this wasn't it, already), that's when I'll devote an entire page of this blog to my cackling, gleeful rants about how and why that team will never win anything.

4) The Pub. Instead of watching matches at home (or when I was employed, at work, but I'd never do that obviously) and then being able to immediately blog about it, I've been spending too much time at the Amsterdam Tavern. When I come home, fat and happy, full of donuts and Guinness (properly poured) for breakfast, all I want to do is take a nap. And when I wake, I've forgotten all the astute observations that I made about the games when I was watching. Things like "OHH WHY DIDN'T HE PASS THAT?" or "OHHHH! OHHHHH! THAT'S A F---ING AMAZING GOAL!" These are the kind of observations, yelled at a decibel level only reached with the assistance of alcohol, with bits of blueberry cake donut sputtering from my mouth, that make me such a respected and valued customer at the Amsterdam Tavern.

Yeah, that's about it. But to conclude: I will be posting more. I'm like Adebayor - just when you think you hate me and I'm worthless, I'll go on a phenomenal scoring run. (But inevitably, after I've convinced you that I'm a world class striker, I'll go back to being useless and in fact quite easy to hate.) Right.

Finishing Strong

Before we get to tomorrow's mammoth clash, I'd like to give my congratulations to United, Inter, Madrid, and Bayern for winning their respective leagues. None of those victories seemed "wrong" or unexpected in any way. In every case, it was clearly the best team that won.

The same goes for Porto and Lyon, but here I'm not sure if I should be offering my congratulations or my condolences. Yes, they won their leagues, but now they can look forward to having their quality players stolen by teams from the "Big Three" leagues.

Three things I've been thinking about during this lengthy hiatus:

1. Both the Serie A and the EPL had fantastic finishes, with the league hanging in the balance until the final Sunday. And in both leagues, it was the favorite who finished on top and the persistent underdog who fell short. I found it particularly fitting the way United and Inter won their last games, with Ronaldo and Ibrahimovic, the true offensive catalysts and stars of their squads, rising to the occasion and breaking the deadlock. Both players have often had their pedigree in important matches questioned, and it was a real coup for both to secure a championship for their respective sides. I don't completely agree with my esteemed colleague that Inter were uncatchable; scoreless at the half against a team desperate to stay up in monsoon weather had to have even the most staunch Inter supporter nervous. But as soon as Mancini called for Ibrahimovic off the bench, you could see Nerazzuri confidence rise. And with good reason.

(Also, for those who watched that match, has it ever been more apparent that a player would score from the moment he was brought on? Zlatan's first touch was an attempt at goal which went wide, but if you watched closely, I'm pretty sure you could actually see him mentally adjusting his scope.)

2. Barca are in absolute disarray. In any other year, I'm sure Juan and I would have been leaping at the chance to jot down some thoughts about El Clasico, but there was a shocking gulf in class this year between the two old rivals, and it really showed. Pep Guardiola has his work cut out for him, and things won't get any easier if they lose half the players that have already been mentioned in transfer rumors: Gaucho, Titi, Sammy, 'Brotta, Magico, Gio, Kolo Jr., etc. Who's going where will be a good topic to accompany the Euros this summer.

3. I'm extremely optimistic about tomorrow's match. These are definitely the two best teams in Europe. Chelsea-United has admittedly been a borefest for the last few years (hell, Chelsea-anyone has the potential to become sports tryptophan), as both teams warily try to avoid committing that killer error instead of actually taking chances and being creative in the hopes of scoring, but their recent, enthralling showdown at the Bridge gives me hope. As some have already said, an early goal would be extremely welcome, as it will naturally up the tempo and urgency of the match.

Serie A Wrap-up With Some Biscotti and Italian Love Cake

Let me first begin with the fact that Italian Love Cake is a real dessert. For some reason I can see that being integral to a Luca Toni pickup line.

This is the end of the Serie A wrap up with the final five teams. All of these teams are relevant to some degree (in reverse order again).

AC Milan - 18 wins, 10 losses, 10 draws, 64 points. Where to start... where to start... Clarence Seerdorf sucks. Of course he has some shining moments, he's a professional footballer, but for this team and possibly Italian soccer in general, he's no good. How do I know? For starters his best games, which for me are still mostly unimpressive, are in the Champions League (this must be why people think he's good). And after watching at least 15 Milan games, the two I witnessed without Seerdorf is when the Rossinerri were at their finest.

Then there is Andre Pirlo, or I should say, the exhausted cadaver formerly known as Andre Pirlo. His freekicks have been generally bad if not completely terrible at times. His turnovers are evident and his transitions are slow. The man looks exhausted and he is not the same. Watch his game against Arsenal and you'll call 911... or whatever it is in Italy (thanks to Sept 11th its impossible to find on google).

Then there is Kaka. Something isn't quite right with Brasilians these days. Ronaldo got extorted by transvestites, Ninho is unhappy at Barca for some reason unbeknownst to me, Dunga has openly said he does not prefer older players (he means 24 and older here), Anderson can't close his mouth when he plays (pictured), Romario thinks he's better than Pele??? and their U-20 team could probably win the World Cup right now. The same goes for Kaka but in a different way. It used to be that I had never seen him make a mistake, and after seeing like... 2 mistakes this year, something must be wrong.

Inzaghi has been fun to watch but I think everyone agrees its time for him to part ways with AC Milan and come to the MLS. Same goes for Ambrosini.

If you aren't convinced by Alexander the Duck yet it's probably because the Champions League announcers ripped on him unjustly all game. He infused energy into this dying team and in the middle of the season he turned them around.

If this seems like rambling you're absolutely right. AC needs a complete makeover. Keep Kaka, Pato, Gilardino, Nesta, and Gattuso (if you can, he'll be gone though) and get rid of the rest. Especially Kalac, who sucks, and Dida (see Kalac).
So far their first move - signing Flamini is a great start. If they can snag Ninho they'll be gravy. As a Juventude I wouldn't mind AC rebuilding for 2 years but something tells me that won't happen.
Enjoy the Uefa cup this year boys.

And no, I don't mean that.

Fiorentina - 19 wins, 10 losses, 9 draws, 66 points. What a fiesty team. Their loses were against Inter (2), Lazio (2), Milan, Udinese, Roma, Napoli, Cagliari, Palermo (once each). Yep, Juve wasn't on that list (sonsabitches) and really there are only 3 "bad" losses on that list and those are outnumbered by "good" wins. The resume only gets better - they made it to the semis in the Uefa Cup beating some legit squads along the way and eventually lost to the Rangers in PKs. This a young upstart team that developed well. Expect them to be around for awhile and then for their good players to be bought.

Juventus - 20 wins, 6 losses, 12 draws, 72 points. Their loses - Udinese, Napoli, Reggina, Fiorentina, Palermo, Siena. The Siena one was at the end of the season when they had secured third so that one doesn't count. Palermo absolutely stunned/outplayed/raped us and Fiorentina similar. Udinese and Napoli were unacceptable. The problem with this team as you can see is not the losses, but the draws. This tends to be the case for a top 3 team (see: Arsenal).
Unacceptable draws: Cagliari, Sampdoria, and Catania. To be fair, Juventus had a pretty good Serie A. Coppa Italia hurt and the lack of Champions League (after The Scandal) hurt as well.
I really wish we had gunned for Roma a bit more and earned an Auto-qualifying spot instead of the opposite of that.

I have alot of worries for next year. Quickly - Nedved faded hard, Tiago is a huge maybe, Sissoko improved every game but was it because we said we would listen to offers?, Del Piero can't possibly produce like he did and Buffon carried us way way too much for comfort. Molinaro, my nemesis, we must replace. Our defense as a unit came around but my goodness they looked shaky at the start of the season.

What I'm not worried about: Our forwards, Iaquinta, Palladino, Trezegol. Camoranesi, Legrottaglie, Chellini, Grygera, Buffon.

Where I would love an upgrade: wing back (Molinotgood), attacking center mid (Tiago? Nedved? do we even have an attacking center mid?) and we could use a slightly better wing mid (Salihamidzic - who I like but still).

Roma - 24 wins, 4 losses, 10 draws, 82 points. Their losses - Inter, Juventus, AC Milan, Napoli. None of those are bad losses. In fact, I think this team really over-achieved this year. Totti was not the ridiculous force he used to be, Vucinic was very on/off and underused, Taddei I think is terrible and the same goes for Mancini. Guily, who I think is quite good, was underused as well. I really don't know how they scored any goals at all. Their defense and defensive midfield is world class though: Mexes, Panucci, Juan, Cicinho, Cassetti, and De Rossi held this team together.
Roma essentially chose the Champions League over the Scudetto - like most teams - and came out with nothing - like most teams not Manchester United. It's almost a shame how one's own league title doesn't mean as much as it should.

Roma has one more game of interest in the Coppa Italia Final and it should be a classic. Both Inter and Roma are looking for some sort of validation and because the Coppa is not all that important both teams should come out firing.

Inter Milan - don't let the media confuse you, this team was never actually vulnerable. They had 3 losses all year. Three. Tre. They were: Juventus, AC Milan and Napoli. They had 85 points and a plus 43 goal differential. Plus forty three. This squad went wire to wire and didn't lose until their 25th game. The Dragon just wanted you to think you could catch it. Go ahead, try and catch it.

Weekend Preview

It seems like England's been getting all the attention lately, what with their preeminence in the Champions League, but it'll be an interesting weekend in all three leagues.

PAELLA

Sevilla (6th) vs. Villareal (2nd). Last weekend, Villareal launched themselves into second and made a huge statement by smashing Atletico Madrid 3-0. Now, this game will signal to Real Madrid whether or not they should be legitimately concerned or just leetle scared. Conversely, Sevilla have had the absolute worst run-in over the past few weeks; first losing to Atletico, and then to los Blancos. Now they face a test against a red hot Villareal side with legitimate title ambitions. If Real Madrid slip up against Mallorca (a real possibility if Guiza shows up), then things could get very interesting.

The verdict: Even though Sevilla are at home, they haven't looked very threatening since their crushing exit from the Champions League at the hands of Fenerbahce. They're on a nice little losing streak to the top teams, and Villareal have shown themselves to be just that. They did a good job handling Atletico's potent front two, and they'll have a real test trying to mark Fabiano, Kanoute, and speedy right back Dani Alves, but I think they can do it. Villareal have shown they can play attractive attacking football under any circumstances, and hey, defending is less of an issue when you dominate possession like them. Where's Juande? 1 - 3 Spanish Arsenal.

SPAGHETTI

Atalanta (9th) vs. Internazionale (1st). Inter will have mixed feelings about Roma's 2-0 defeat in the Champions League this week. On the one hand, it demonstrates vulnerability and the potential for a collapse. On the other hand, it may mean that Roma will commit all energy toward pulling themselves out of their four point deficit in the league. Either way, Inter need to focus on themselves, as they remain in the driver's seat. This week, they'll be playing an inconsistent Atalanta side. The other Nerazzuri (prepare for this game to appear confusing; Atalanta and Inter have identical home uniforms) beat AC Milan handily at the San Siro in their last Serie A outing, but are floundering around down in 9th. Doni and Floccari were excellent for them then, but must be considered streaky players at best. They've also got the other (lesser) Inzaghi coming off their bench, but that shouldn't concern Inter too much.

The verdict: I can't shake the ease with which Atalanta's attack broke down Milan's defense last week. I know that Inter aren't Milan, and are far better organized at the back, but they've been in a bad spell. Draw with Genoa, defeated by Juve, draw with Lazio... I think Atalanta can take something from this match. I see a game with Inter dominating possession and scoring but getting hit on the break by the Doni-Floccari combo for an equalizer. 1-1.

FISH AND CHIPS

Arsenal (3rd) vs. Liverpool (4th). For the original Star Wars trilogy and even for The Godfather, there are many who would argue that the second installment shines through as the finest. However, I'm predicting this match will be more like the second Indiana Jones movie: ugly, filled with bit players, and kind of a letdown. That's not to say it won't be interesting, though. The game means a lot more to Arsenal, who refuse to concede the title when there's still mathematical hope. What this means is that Liverpool will likely rest key players before the epic Part 3 of this series, and that Arsenal will be forced to play their increasingly worn-out starters.

The verdict: Arsenal distinctly had the better of play in the last two matchups between these giants of English football, but have had to settle for 1-1 results on both occasions. With Benitez keeping his eye on the big European prize, and rivals for the fourth spot Everton facing a tough run-in, one can expect to see a lot of rotating (his trademark) for this one. I foresee a relatively cagey affair, with Tuesday's showdown at Anfield looming, but Arsenal want and need this result more. Red-and-Whites 1 - 0 Reds.

Villa(un)real!

Weekend Recap:

1) Can anyone challenge Manchester United? Right now they're a runaway bus, steamrolling anything in their path, unable to be stopped, and led by a very handsome man who inspires the utmost loathing in his detractors. Kind of like the movie Speed, if Keanu Reeves were really good at his chosen profession in the way Ronaldo dominates his own. The Portuguese phenom is already inspiring debate as to whether or not he's the greatest player the EPL has ever seen (unfortunate for Arsenal and Chelsea), and Keanu Reeves is still making films (unfortunate for everyone). I happen to think he's a shoe-in for every accolade this season (including "hater of the year"), but would hesitate before calling him the best ever in the league. But if he keeps this up for just one more season, then I think he's earned the right to be talked about with Henry, Shearer, Bergkamp, Zola, and the rest. He certainly helped his case with the opener against Villa which was as beautifully executed as it was audacious.

2) Arsenal aren't finished yet. Wenger calls their victory over Bolton the greatest comeback he can remember, and I can't argue. Easter was a disaster, but the Gunners rose from the dead a week later with a gritty and fortune-favored second half. After struggling against Birmingham, Wigan, and Boro, Arsenal evidently need to be two goals and a man down before they really get going. However, that particular formula for victory won't work against Liverpool in the Champions League (as Inter will be all too happy to tell you), so Arsenal best be on their game on Wednesday if they want any shot at advancing.

3) Villareal completely outclassed Atletico Madrid. It wasn't as though los Indios were playing poorly, either, they simply ran into a squad that have real self-confidence and desperately want to contend for the title. The yellow submarine have been consistently providing some of the best teamwork in the game (watch the way they work the goals below). The question now, though, is whether Real Madrid have lost a title rival, or gained one? Barcelona look done after their stunning second-half collapse against Betis, and Villareal have supplanted them in second with a great run. They're currently six points back, and though you still have to like Real's chances, they still have to play Barcelona again this season. Villareal, meanwhile, have a cozy run for the rest of the year, with their toughest opposition coming in an away game against Sevilla next week. It's a good opportunity for another statement game.



Wonderful teamwork, but I think we all know the real secret of their success: long, flowing locks of hair. With Gonzalo Rodriguez, Pires, Santi Cazorla, and numerous others, no club has better.

4) Inter are at sixes and sevens. Their lead is at four points, but it feels a lot smaller. Roma did them a huge favor by drawing at Cagliari, but remain right on their tail. Something working in Inter's favor: Roma must play red-hot Manchester United in the CL. Probably not good for momentum. Things working in Roma's favor: Inter still have to play Fiorentina and AC Milan in the league, and have a much more difficult Coppa Italia draw in Lazio. That'll mean less rest for their big players. This one ain't over, folks.

5) AC Milan are in a tailspin. And there's no sign of it ending anytime soon. Future fixtures include Juventus (in Turin), Inter, and Udinese at the very end of the season. They're in sixth place and ninth-place Atalanta just carved up their defense like fresh cold cuts. 1-2 was a very flattering scoreline, and it could have easily been 4 or 5 for Serie A's other Nerazzurri. They're only four points out of fourth, but on current form and with their remaining schedule, I don't think they'll make it. I reckon it's probably time to bid farewell not only to Paolo Maldini, but to the fantastic dynasty of world football he helped build.

The Five Best Derbies

This one won't be easy, but I think we can immediately rule out the worst one, and that's Derby County. Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

I've determined there are probably nine or ten big derbies that are truly deserving of note, but in the interest of time, I've whittled it down to five. We can talk about the big rivalries between different cities (Inter-Juve, Man U-Liverpool, etc.) later, so in the meantime, here's my countdown:

Barely missing the cut: Derby della Capitale (Roma vs. Lazio), The Manchester Derby (Manchester United vs. Manchester City), Derby della Mole (Juventus vs. Torino), Galatasaray vs. Fenerbahce, Olympiacos vs. Panathinaikos.


5. El Derbi Madrileno (Real Madrid vs. Atletico Madrid): This spot could have easily gone to any of the teams listed above (and a few not mentioned), but it goes to Madrid for perfectly encapsulating what intercity rivalries are all about. On the one side, you have the giants of world football, a team overflowing with trophies and praise. They're the bandwagon team that the rest of the country either loves or loves to hate, the club supported by the rich and their stadium is filled with supporters who consistently vote conservatively. Opposing them is a club playing next door to a brewery which, while successful, will always live in the shadow of its rival. This team draws no support outside its home city, and instead is loved by the leftist, rebellious working class. I don't have to tell you which is which. In terms of trophies, Atletico have nothing to be ashamed of (9 Titles, 9 Copa del Rey), but look like chumps compared to Los Blancos (30 Titles, 17 Copa del Rey, 9 European Cups). Also, you know it's a good rivalry when one team calls itself "Los Blancos" because its uniforms are white and the other starts referring to itself as "Los Indios," not for any real reason, but just to be in direct opposition.

4. The Merseyside Derby (Liverpool vs. Everton): Where this one ranks really depends on what you're looking for in a derby. Do you want bitter hatred between the two fan bases and a do-or-die environment on the field? Or do you want an atmosphere of mutual respect and pride in one's shared city? Because if it's the latter, this one is the best. In fact, when there's violence, it's usually under bizarre circumstances such as the 1980 FA Cup when supporters of the two teams actually joined together to attack fans from other clubs. Now that's unity. In terms of silverware, Liverpool has everyone in England beat (18 Titles, 7 FA Cups, 5 European Cups), but Everton are no slouches with 9 Titles and 5 FA Cups of their own. The rivalry gets docked a few points due to the fact that it has been stripped of its meaningfulness in the last few decades (neither team has won the league since 1990) But in the end, it's all about two storied clubs, two historic grounds (Liverpool have been at Anfield and Everton at Goodison Park since 1892!), and a universal love of their home city. If you're not one for fighting or chanting death threats, it doesn't get any better than this.

3. The North London Derby (Arsenal vs. Tottenham Hotspur): It was hard to put this one above Liverpool and Everton, but it currently gets the nod because of the consistent match quality and importance. Though it's been a largely one-sided affair this decade, Tottenham have recently raised the bar through competitive displays and their 5-1 beatdown of the Gunners in the Carling Cup. Both sets of supporters will also not soon forget the 2005-2006 season, when Arsenal waited until the last day of the season to overtake Spurs in the all-important fourth place spot. In terms of intensity, this rivalry is second to none; Gooners keep track of when Tottenham can no longer finish above them in the league and celebrate "St. Totteringham's Day" when it arrives, while Spurs fans could hardly wait to rejoice in their victory over Arsenal (it was only the Carling semifinal!) with commemorative DVDs and coffee mugs. You also know things are bitter between the two sides when you can refer to "Judas" in a football context and everyone in London immediately knows who you're talking about. Both sides have an impressive trophy cabinet (13 Titles, 10 FA Cups for Arsenal; 2 Titles, 8 FA Cups for Tottenham), and Spurs were able to add to it with their Carling Cup victory this season. If Arsenal don't one-up them with the league or the CL this season, you can bet the Gunners will be hearing about it for years.

2. Derby della Madonnina (Milan vs. Internazionale): Two heavyweights of world soccer, this would be a mouthwatering match under any circumstances. Add to it the fact that the two clubs share a city AND a stadium, and now you're really talking. This rivalry is so intense that it even spilled over into the 1990 World Cup when Dutch/AC Milan legends Marco van Basten, Frank Rijkaard, and Rudd Gullit faced German/Inter heroes Jurgen Klinsmann, Lothar Matthaus, and Andreas Brehme in the San Siro. When Germany won, the Italian Inter fans celebrated as though their club had triumphed. In terms of world class players, it would very difficult to top this one, and when it comes to trophies between the two sides, the numbers are staggering (Milan with 17 Titles, 5 Coppa Italia, 7 European Cups and Inter with 15 Titles, 5 Coppa Italia, and 2 European Cups). The fact that there's a hint of politics involved (Inter for the right, Milan for the left) makes the matches even more weighty, and meetings between the two have been known to get ugly (see picture above and the 2004-2005 Champions League). With Inter fighting for the title and Milan battling for fourth, the next meeting (May 4) is almost guaransheed to be a thriller.

1. The Old Firm (Celtic vs. Rangers): You could make a case for any of the rivalries I've mentioned as the best, but I think this one is truly deserving. Because while Milan and Inter are two of the best teams in Italian football, Celtic and Rangers ARE Scottish football. Simply put, there is no challenge to their consistent dominance of their league, and every year they're gunning for the title. These teams are not only the best (Celtic have 41 Titles, 34 Scottish Cups, 1 European Cup and Rangers have a mind-boggling 51 Titles and 31 Scottish Cups), but also sit right across Glasgow from one another. They don't just divide the city, either; both clubs draw support from all over Scotland, the British Isles, and the world at large. And if other derbies have a trickle of political strife to them, this one has a waterfall. When the Old Firm play one another, it's not just Rangers vs. Celtic, it's Protestant vs. Catholic, UDA vs. IRA, Britain vs. Ireland, and Loyalism vs. Independence. Pretty heavy stuff for a football match. Always important, always quality, and always controversial, this is the best derby in the world.

What A Week

Champions League First Leg Recap

Arsenal 1 - AC Milan 0

It was a hard fought game with the Gunners moving the ball around nicely. Milan's staunch defense seemed as if it would never crack but finally Theo Walcott put a pristine cross on the head of Adebayor (who else, right) who buried the empty netter in stoppage time to give Arsenal a valuable 1 goal lead heading into San Siro.


Liverpool 0 - Nazionale 0

Materazzi anchored a solid Inter defense that turned away Liverpool when opportunities presented themselves. Inter's offensive flood labored some at Anfield but returning home without giving up any unnecessary goals away should pay dividends for them in the second leg. Pool proved that you can't just try really hard when it matters and see results.


Manchester United 0 - Lyon 1

Young French firecracker Benzema showed that even ManU can't overcome talent. Lyon stayed patient on defense and kept some offensive mindset to keep ManU honest. Maintaining that attacking mentality proved well instead of cramming the box with defenders against ManU's offensivibility (offense and inevitability) to hold Chester 1 nil. This result gives Lyon hope as they did not give up the often pivotal goal at home.


Premier League Recap

Arsenal 3 - Birmingham City 1

The bad news is that Eduardo has a high ankle sprain and will be out 6-8 weeks. The good news is that Theo Walcott came in and propelled the gunners to a two-one lead before Adebayor (will he ever slow down?) put the baby to sleep and assured Arsenal of three important points in the scorching race for the Premiership.

Man Utd 2 - NewCastle 1

The Treble got caught score watching and struggled their way to victory against the Magpies. NewCastle after their first drubbing (6 nil) against Manchester made the necessary adjustments and almost held off United before finally conceding a late goal to Cristiano Ronaldo. Roonaldy (Cristi and Wayne) played uninspired and are officially slumping.


Serie A Recap

Juventus 2 - Reggina 1

Juventus established their win last week over Roma as no fluke by beating lowly Reggina the next week. With no Champions League or Coppa Italia to distract them anymore (or ever) Juve can concentrate on the Serie A and work hard to earn the coveted 2nd place finish in the Serie A. Trezeguet took his flu shot in October of last year so that silly things like sickness wouldn't hamper his starts. The inoculation proved effective as he was on the pitch to score the game winner late and in dramatic fashion to keep Juve threatening.

Quick Thoughts

Giant Killers! I'd never write off the current Spanish, Italian, or Portuguese champions, but these are some fantastic results for Roma, 'Pool, and Schalke, respectively. Here are some initial reactions to this CL matchday (heavily skewed towards Roma vs. Madrid and Liverpool vs. Inter).

The AS Roma vs. Real Madrid game, as I predicted, was the standout tie of the round. Back and forth stuff, lots of drama, and the most goals of the four. What I didn't predict was the result, though. In hindsight, Roma did have home field, which counts for a lot. Totti may have not been on the scoresheet, but he dominated the play and his pass to Mancini for the winner was sheer quality. Have to give kudos to Juan and Mexes, though; barring Raul's hockey-flick goal, they frustrated the Madrid attack all game. Ruud looked irritated enough to sucker punch someone every time the camera was on him. Los Blancos were quite unlucky when that last ditch attack ended with a resounding shot off the post (still not sure who it was), but Roma were the better side all day. That doesn't mean I don't think Madrid will still take this one, though. The Bernabeu is no joke. (Also, can we talk about how fat David Pizarro is? People like to joke about Ronaldo and Lampard, but this man is actually fat. Watching him make runs into the box is like watching me throw a six-pound bowling ball as hard as I can.)

I'll just start by saying that Torres took a dive. Plain and simple. But you really can't say that Materazzi didn't have it coming after all his years of cunning and dirty play. Though it was completely unwarranted, there was a sense of karmic justice in his second yellow. Initially, though, it didn't seem to help Liverpool much as they enjoyed more possession but found Inter well-organized at the back. The whole game was a complete snorefest until the last five minutes. Watching Rafa Benitez clip his toenails would have been more interesting. Of course, then Kuyt made up for his crap performance with a brilliant goal, and Gerrard finished things in style by scoring one of his trademark impossible goals from distance. This one wasn't as thunderous as some, but it was one of the most ridiculously accurate shots I've ever seen. What have I (re)learned? Never bet against Liverpool in the Champions League. Oh, and NEVER bet on Inter in the CL. Ever.

And the other two...

Chelsea are so incredibly boring, especially on the road. They might as well park the team bus in front of their goal, though, because then opponents might have a better chance scoring. Talk about well-organized defending. I think Ben's prediction is going to turn out exactly right.

As for the Schalke shocker, I'm really not sure what to say except that everyone, including myself, was wrong. Hey, these things happen. Now, I'll wish them the best of luck trying to defend that lead in Porto.

It's about that time

Open me in a new window and listen to anticipation in it's pure audible form.

Ready?

Go

FC Porto at Schalke 04

A part of me doesn't want to keep mentioning that Quaresma is the best unknown player in the world for obvious reasons. I want to be so right about him that I'm willing to forfeit any "see I told you so" rights just for my own personal satisfaction. I just know that when he blows up I'm going to expend so much energy explaining to people that I knew it all along. But that's neither here nor there.

Porto has alot to represent here: Quare is on the big stage yet again, Portuguese Liga always has something to prove, and Schalke needs to be shamed out of the CL. Last year at about this time Q was playing with a lot of flair - too much in fact to be taken seriously. Similar complaints,, however (extra pause before and after however), were said of a certain Christ Ronaldo. Am I saying he's the next C. Ronaldo? I don't even know what that means - next question.

Porto 2, Shalke 0

Inter Milan at Liverpool

Thanks a lot Capello?? As if Pool needs any more pressure to win. I watched the Barnsley repeat last night and I can't wait to write about it.
Meanwhile, amidst the plethora of Liverpool, "This is why, that is why," stories it appears that El Nino got it right. Thanks Fernando. If 1 out of 10 Liverpool fans stop taking crazy pills because of this you will have done well. Why can't Pool fans be more like Cardinals fans and enjoy their five year get-out-of-heartbreak-free voucher while it lasts.

My prediction is Milan 3, Liverpool 1. I really do want Inter to get that monkey off it's back* and smother LiverSchiavo once and for all. It's time to moveon.org Liverpool.

Real Madrid at Roma

Roma showed up at the party looking for that cutie they've been waiting to finally ask out and there she is doing body shots off of Real Madrid. After watching Juve's back line look good against their first team, Roma might be in for a Ruud awakening (Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week) (Cuts wrists).

Totti played uninspired against Juve and the whole team looked aloof. Totti needs to grow his hair out again and everything will be ok.

Real 1, Roma 0

Chelsea at Olympiacos

Chelsea hasn't had their big letdown yet this season... I'm not confident it will happen here, but I will say I thought so (with no proof) if Cos comes away with the upset. I am assuming Avram knows what he's doing resting Lampard and especially John Terry. Chelsea has been so blah this year it's hard to pass judgment. They struggled some, bounced back some, OK. I wish I had more to say but this is my wait and see game - mainly because I haven't seen much of Chelsea this year.

Chelsea 1, Olympiacos 1


In summary, Andy Williams was right - it's the most wonderful time of the year.

Enjoy the games.


*That is one of the top ten commercials of all time

The League of Champions...

Is back in action! Let's do our requisite rundown of today's matchups.

Schalke 04 vs. FC Porto. Schalke are having a mediocre season in the Bundesliga where they sit fifth, and are easily the worst team in this knockout round. They barely managed second in the group stages with a then-struggling Chelsea, lowly Rosenborg and rapidly tanking "what is wrong with this team?" Valencia. They got through with the fewest points of any team. Porto, in direct contrast, finished first in a fairly difficult group that saw them matched against Liverpool, Marseilles, and Besiktas. They're cruising the Portuguese league, and with the perpetually underrated Pedro Emanuel at the back, Lucho dominating midfield, and the brilliant Quaresma leading their attack from the wing, you have to expect this first leg to go Porto's way, even on the road. Last German Standing 1 - 3 Portuguese Dragons.

Liverpool vs. Internazionale. Wow, Liverpool. Barnsley? Really? Fifth in the League, and now eliminated from the FA Cup in style by a Championship team, this would seem to be a club in crisis. Never you mind, though, because whenever this competition rolls around, England's most successful club in Europe seems to rise to the occasion. The Champions League has also been Rafa's bread and butter, but if he doesn't accomplish the unenviable task of knocking off Inter, he's as good as gone. Inter, meanwhile, continue to go about their business of solidifying a third straight Serie A title with jarring efficiency. However, success in Europe has largely eluded these Italian giants, and not since the 1960's have they seen a fruitful campaign in this competition. In short, they're massive chokers. (See last year's fall and brawl against Valencia or their shameful beatdowns at the hands of AC Milan in 2005 or Arsenal in 2003.) They'll also have to deal with a Liverpool squad rejoined by a healthy Gerrard, Torres, Reina, and Mascherano (so, really, their four best players). But having one of the scariest rosters in Europe and the leading scorer in the competition (Zlatan) should help them this time, right? Well, my only advice is that you not have money riding on this game. This is the best I can do: Hicks and Gillette 1 - 1 Reggie Miller.

AS Roma vs. Real Madrid. Yum yum. This is a truly juicy tie. Roma were unfortunate to be grouped with a rampant Manchester United, but came out with eleven points. For Real, eleven is all it took to win their group, though. Life just isn't fair. Madrid have been cruising La Liga, but have had difficulty navigating their domestic cup competitions. Roma are sitting in second, but tenuously, after losing to Juventus. Thus far, Madrid has had a more dominant look about them, but that being said, it should be noted that the Serie A has been much more competitive than La Liga this season. Roma will also be looking to salvage their reputation after their 7-1 drubbing at the hands of Manchester United last year. It'll be interesting to see how Roma's stellar CB's Mexes and Juan deal with the cagey veterans of Madrid in attack. Los Merengues still have the edge, though. WIND 1 - 2 BWIN.

Olympiacos vs. Chelsea. Everyone is writing off Olympiacos in this tie, and not without good reason. In recent history, Chelsea have been extremely strong in this competition, only to fall victim to penalties or bad luck right before reaching the finals. Their current form, while mind-numbingly dull, also adds to their favored status. Olympiacos will have to be strong at the back, as Avram Grant is expected to announce an ambitious 4-3-3 alignment featuring either Drogba or Anelka flanked by Joe Cole and Shaun Wright-Phillips. The Greek champions can look to strong performances against Werder Bremen and Lazio along with their fine league form (only one loss) for inspiration, but Chelsea haven't lost a game in a long time and I would expect nothing short of victory today. Greek David 0 - 1 Boring Goliath.

Stay tuned for tomorrow, when we'll see the mouthwatering matchup of the week: Fenerbahce vs. Sevilla! Jay kay.

The Return of the Power Dozen

Here's to a great jinx! (Hold up shot glass, shoots self in head)

1) Inter - I've decided their recent "struggles" - which oh by the way include no losses - are due to Mancini experimenting with team chemistry. I admit that their dominance turned into this aura where I expected to tune in and see Inter hog-tying opponents and shooting wildly in the air. Turns out they just win and have fun while doing it.

2) Arsenal - My only reservation (I was gonna put them #1) was that they did all this benefiting while all the elephants were gone. Props to Egypt for taking the tragically unwatched African Nations Cup. I'll make sure to watch in two years.

3) Real Madrid - I had the pleasure of watching Real touchdown on Villanotasreal. Before this game I would have dropped them a spot, but with Robben clicking, Jim is right - they're legit.

4) Manchester United - the Munich disaster indeed (too soon?... it happened 50 years ago damnt). Cristi was frustrated with Portugal losing to Italy and is trying to do too much. City caught some breaks too. I'm writing it off for the most part. And how about Man City earning 6 points from The Treble!

5) AS Roma - forget catching Inter, they need to stay afloat. They have a brutal February remaining and Juve could catch them if Juve would stop being awkward turtle.

6) Chelsea - they're Paul Wall on the grind. Avram Grant looks a little like that character from Ratatouille - a movie I thoroughly enjoyed.

7) Bayern Munich - Luca Toni missed a penalty and subsequently drew against Bremen. They've scored 14 in their last 4 though, so I think they'll be alright.

8) Porto - Dropped a game against Sporting Lisbon thus they drop a few spots. Quaresma watch: Apparently he's "earning" his starting spot on the wing over Sabrosa. The announcers think he played great, I've seen him play better, we'll see. Regardless, Scolari needs to find a spot for him.

9) Barcelona - Sorry, I still don't know what's wrong with them. I watched one game of theirs and it was snoozer. If I were a fan of this team I'd be so disgruntled.

10) Juventus - I find it comical that I picked* the Italian team that most resembles Uruguay's "I can score at any time ability" coupled with "the end result will inevitably frustrate you - even in a win." And comical like the way I would laugh after surviving a plane crash.

*That's not entirely true. My mother picked this team for me in a way by buying me a sick replica jersey. I blame you mother.

11) Rangers - Celtic seems poised to catch them. The headline, "Celtic destroys Dons."

12) Lyon - I'll soon be posting why you should hate France. Stay tuned.


Let me in now, let me in now. Bill Gates, Donald Trump, let me in now. Jim says...

I'm actually in total agreement with these rankings. Well done, Vincenzo. Just a few thoughts on the Top 5:

1) Internazionale - This is the sort of domination in a league we haven't seen since Arsenal 2003-2004. I'd also compare them to the Inter of last year, but that was with Juve in the minors and their other major rivals penalized for scandal. Now, Inter literally refuse to be defeated. They have complete and utter confidence that they will win every time they take the field, no matter the opposition. Of course, that's only in the Serie A. We'll see what kind of tricks Rafa has for them next week.

2) Arsenal - If anything, I feel that going top and staying there during the African Cup of Nations has been more to Arsenal's credit. No Toure, no Song, no diving, whining Eboue (OK, maybe that was actually helpful), but anyway, you get the point.

3) Real Madrid - Guti's healthy again (and just dropped a deuce on fake Real), so that's another weapon they can throw in there. Be skurred.

4) Manchester United - Juan, it's always too soon for a club that takes itself as seriously as this one. Highlights from last week include Ferguson's complaint about seven (completely deserved, and he's lucky there weren't more) yellow cards for his team against Tottenham, and now the twin excuses for defeat of playing the Manchester Derby during the anniversary of the disaster and having players tired after the International Break. Waah.

5) AS Roma - What happened against Siena? Truly a nightmare for them, and they probably should have dropped in these rankings, but everyone else has been pretty mediocre. They Juveniled against Reggina, though, so they're still (numerically) in the hunt. Totti needs to find his form soon, though, because they've got Madrid in the CL.

PS: I think I know why Juan thinks you should hate France. I'll give everyone a hint: starts with a D, believes obsessively in astrology, and in the past six years has made horrible decisions regarding selection for a certain national team.

Why Is Inter Milan So Good?

Answer: Several reasons

Personnel

Their roster is full of habitually underrated stars. Zanetti, Maicon, Materazzi, Vieira, Solari, Maniche, Cambiasso, Ibrahimovic, Cruz and Crespo to name just a few. Look back at those names one more time and you may notice that every one of those players starts on their national team except for the Argentines Solari and Cruz. What national teams are we talking about? Argentina, Portugal, Italy, France and Sweden. All of those teams advanced out of the group stage in the World Cup 06, one made the quarters, one made the semis, and two met in the finals.

How underrated are they? None of these players would make even the 2nd team all world roster but every one of them is in full, again, full stride. I was watching the Juve Inter game the other day and a commentator casually said Ibrahimovic is the best striker in the world right now and you know what, instead of scoffing (and perpetuating the underrated point I'm trying to drive home), I considered it.

Who's in this race for best striker in the world:
Ibrahessogood
Titi Henry
Eto'o
Tevez
Trezegol (who I'm truly obsessed with at this point)
Adebayor
Drogba (who I forgot... damnt)

If the Togo'an wasn't absolutely out of control at this point, this would be any easy, easy, choice. Ibrahe's-so-good gets the nod. What's worse is that I could have asked you to name your nominees and you might have left him out.

Maicon and Maniche - Portugal studs. I wonder who else is a Portugal stud?... Oh well, I can't think of it. Anyway, Portugal was colonized by Brasil, that should tell you enough.

Vieira - How funny that both Jim and I absolutely gush about this man so he's not underrated on our list, but still, you get the point.

Crespo - Um, he's on loan. Right now.

Cruz - You don't even know who he is but he and Ibra have combined for 23 (10,13) goals in the Serie A. He's cold as ice - ask Juventus.

Materazzi, Cambiasso, Zanetti - come on, I didn't even know Zanetti was still playing and would have forgotten about the others. Two of them have hoisted the World though.

Solari - This one is special. He has great pace, creativity, insight, awareness and is ruthless. I see some Messi and Quaresma in him (he has no left foot). Remember the name, Solari. And also, be careful google'ing him because apparently a really hot semi nude model also goes by the name.

Strategy

Mancini, having just been snubbed for manager of the year (by not being even nominated?), is aggressive. His scheme involves passes into the box and shorter diagonal through-runs. Very few long balls and don't be afraid to let one rip is probably what he says to his boys. He utilizes young talent well and is Belichick-esque in that he won't pull back the attack. They deserved to beat Juventus with 10 men and they penetrate so willingly they can score at any time. The scheme itself demands 5 good scoring chances and Cruzavich don't miss that often. It's almost boring, again, Belichick-esque, in that you don't know what happened to your defenders, how Inter arrived, and why it's suddenly 3 nil. I imagine it along the lines of coming home to find your girlfriend cheating on you, but once you find out it was with this philanthropic lawyer who saves underprivileged babies at the local soup kitchen, you begin to realize you didn't match up well.

Young Assassin/Bench
The kids name is Pele... I wonder if he's been obsessed with soccer since he was born. He's really good too and on my "something special brewing" watch. They have solid second team back-ups and you need depth if you're going to try and win the SerieA, Coppa Italia and the Champions.

If they're so good, why do they suddenly look vulnerable?

I agree with the fact that they have looked as vulnerable as ever in these past 4 games. The only game they deserved to lose was against Parma, but those are the types of breaks great teams get. I almost need to write this out for myself: Internazionale has not lost in the Serie A yet. That's 3 points most times and at least one every contest.

The future

I am intrigued to see how Inter's, Score first ask questions later policy holds against real competition in the Champions League. They're still in cruise control and they have Liverpool come February 19th. If Inter keeps rolling, Jim will be right about Rafa.

Weekend Preview

Looking ahead to the biggest matchups in La Liga, Serie A, and the FA Cup, respectively.

SPAIN

Real Madrid (1st) vs. Villareal (3rd). Los Merengues passed their first test of the second half with flying colors, edging a strong Atletico side 2-nil last weekend. Atletico's front partnership of Forlan and Aguero got a lot of the headlines going in, but it was Real's aging-like-fine-wine strikeforce of Raul and van Nistelrooy that decided the match. Oh, and Iker Casillas made two or three incredible saves (yawn) to run his clean sheet record to six matches straight in La Liga. Villareal, meanwhile, are quietly having a great season. They've been injury-free all year (oh snap, there's a jinx waiting to happen), and are putting a strong challenge in to regain Champions League football, something they've gone without for two seasons. Nihat has been in fine form up front, Pires is showing he's got something left in the tank, and the most talented young American (er, Italian... what kind of crap is this) in world soccer has 8 goals in La Liga competition.

The verdict: Sorry, Villareal. Real Madrid have been completely dominant at the Bernabeu, scoring 23, conceding 7, and winning all 9 games played. Count on them to sink el Submarino Amarillo, but Iker really can't keep this up, can he? Real Madrid 2 - 1 Villareal.

ITALY

Udinese (5th) vs. Inter Milan (1st). Poor Udinese. Playing well all season, they're now faced by the second of two Milan juggernauts in two weeks. But just because they've become Job for the scheduling gods, doesn't mean there's not hope. Last week, Inter struggled mightily against a mediocre (that's charitable) Parma side. In fact, they had no business DRAWING that game, let alone winning it. Instead, a harsh 88th minute penalty for handball was converted by Ibrahimovic, who then won it with an excellently controlled ball in injury time. Udinese were also extremely unlucky to lose last week, defending well, but falling victim to poor refereeing decisions and then Gilardino's extra time strike.

The verdict: Things probably won't get any better for Udinese. Fiorentina is sitting in what was their fourth place spot, and look like a sheed to defeat lowly Empoli. Inter can't afford to drop points with Roma churning out results, and they won't. Udinese 0 - 1 Inter.

ENGLAND

Manchester United vs. Tottenham Hotspur (FA Cup 4th Round). Tottenham dismantled (there's no other word for it) the old enemy on Tuesday in front of a giddy White Hart Lane. To get to this fixture, new manager Juande Ramos took them past a solid Reading side without conceding a goal (!). It's for good reason, then, that many Spurs fans are proclaiming the corner turned. Not so fast, though. Their next three fixtures, including this one, are: away to Man U, away to Everton, and home to Man U. That's brutal. If they get out of that stretch with one win, I'll be convinced they're finally on track.

The verdict: Scoring is never a problem for Spurs; they're only two behind (44) leaders Man U and Arsenal (46) in the league. However, they can't stop conceding. On Tuesday, even when playing near-perfectly, they couldn't keep a clean sheet. Ronaldo, Rooney, and Tevez aren't going to let them, either. Man U 3 - 1 Spurs.

Europe's Power Dozen

Here at The Legend of Carl Awesome, we encourage discussion and debate. Therefore, both of us have created our own power rankings and explanations. This way you don't have one list to disagree with, but two. Enjoy.

The key - as apparently Firefox doesn't recognize arrows, is blue = on the upswing, orange = on the downswing, black = steady as expected

Jim's List

1) Internazionale. Everyone in Serie A is left chasing the dragon as Inter romp through the league. Of course, their annual Champions League choke is just around the corner.

2) Manchester United. Anyone (I'm looking at you, Arsenal) who saw their recent display against Newcastle should be very afraid. Very, very afraid.

3) Real Madrid. Two words: Iker Casillas. Apologies to Petr and Gigi, but on current form he's the best keeper in the world.

4) Arsenal. Wenger just took responsibility for the home draw against Birmingham. Without a convincing win on Saturday at Fulham, this team might start questioning itself.

5) Roma. They're keeping pace, Mancini is close to a new deal, and Totti is back from injury and scoring. Can't really ask for much more.

6) Chelsea. Avram Grant claims that his Chelsea are more entertaining than Mourinho's. Which is absurd. That being said, they're right in the mix and signing Anelka will be a huge boost for this team.

7)4Barcelona. Blinded by the lineup? So what if I am. They're within striking distance and just edged past Sevilla in the Copa del Rey. (Also, has anyone seen this? How would they ever select a team??)

8) Bayern Munich. Locked up with Werder Bremen in a fierce battle for the Bundesliga. No Champions League, though, so who have they played? Off the field, you've got the possibility of losing Podolski to Man City. Oh, and Liverpool might be trying to steal Klinsmann for '08. Yikes.

9) Porto. A convincing 4-0 victory over Braga widens their lead in the Portuguese League to 11 points over Benfica. The most important word in that sentence? Portuguese.

10) Lyon. Dominating a weak Ligue 1, even by recent standards. Juninho has been in fine form, and Benzema is an excellent young talent, but we'll really see what this team is made of when they face Man U in the Champions League.

11) Juventus. See Juan's most recent post for the details of their thrilling win over Empoli. Though it was the Italian Cup, it's sure to be a motivator. Also, David Trezeguet can't stop scoring.

12)4Rangers. Cruising the SPL. Smacked down rivals Celtic earlier in the season. The only knock on them at the moment is their failure to qualify for the CL knockouts.

Juan's list

1) Internazionale Roma and Juventus are currently playing this game.

2) Manchester United The addition of Tevez is like giving the Crips hollow points.

3) Real Madrid They seem quiet this year. Gut-check games upcoming against Atletico and Roma in the Champions League.

4) Arsenal It won't take much to convince me, but Jim's right, I do need convincing after a complacent draw to Birmingham. I'm most interested in the upcoming Newcastle, Man City, AC Milan games.

5) AS Roma Febuary will be murderer's row and reality check time for Roma who will face Juventus, Real Madrid, and Inter Milan.

6) Porto I ranked them so high because I respect Portuguese soccer and I think they have the best unknown player in the world in Quaresma. They're cleaning up in their league and need to show me something great against Shalke 04 in the Champions to keep them here.

7) Bayern Munich I also respect German soccer as well as Miroslave Klose.

8) Chelsea I read the story of Drogba asking to play next to Eto'o in sheer horror. To me that would be like taking a hit of cocaine while skydiving.

9) Barcelona Something is wrong with this team. I honestly don't know what it is yet but I'm on it.

10) Juventus They stole a point from Catania that they didn't deserve and thoroughly convinced me they can score if they really have to against Empoli. The defense looks really shaky and I'm worried. They can't really afford mistakes until Febuary 17th when they face Roma - the breaker.

11) Rangers This spot is certainly up for grabs. The Rangers have a perfectly manageable schedule to hold off the Celts. We'll all see if they can finish strong.

12) Lyon I'll go ahead and use this space to vent that I hate Domenech. That is all.