Frustration

I started writing this post when Arsenal were 2-1 down to Hull. The game finished 2-2 so Huzzah, I guess.

I don’t know what makes a great soccer team great.  I mean, I have a rudimentary understanding of what is required, and I can certainly recognize greatness when I see it.  But what I cannot do is say: "if you buy X player and Y player and hire Z manager, you will have a great team" and know that I will be right.  (Well, maybe if variables X, Y, and Z are Messi, Ronaldo, and Jurgen Klopp, respectively.  I would feel pretty confident about that.  But even then, who knows?)  Of course, this has never stopped me from making these sorts of predictions and tricking myself into believing them.

Which brings me to Arsenal.  Last year, Arsenal broke its nine-season trophy drought by winning the FA Cup against Hull City.  It was glorious and well-deserved.  If Juan and I were not deadbeat absentee parents of this blog, there certainly would have been celebratory posts and pictures and champagne for all.

What made the FA Cup win so wonderful was not just that Arsenal had a trophy to throw in the faces of its critics (albeit only the third-most prestigious trophy one can win in English football these days), but that it seemed to be the first marker on a road to continued success.  For nine years, Arsenal and its fans had wandered in the desert, watching teams built on youth and the glittering jewel in the crown, Cesc Fabregas, show great promise (2007-08, 2010-11) and then ultimately crash and burn down the stretch.  During these years of debt and thrift and injury (always injury), Arsene Wenger cobbled together starting lineups with spit and duct tape and Denilson and somehow the team dragged its ass over the finish line in third or fourth.  Arsenal fans would spend the summer wondering which one of their stars would get picked off by a bigger club.  Instead of being used to buy suitable replacements, the proceeds would immediately be sent to the bank to pay for the Emirates Stadium.

Anyway, all of this has been beaten to death, so I'll get to the point, which is this: those years of fruitless frustration are supposed to be over.  The stadium is paid off.  There is a new kit deal.  The naming rights to the Stadium have been renewed.  The club is flush with cash.  Arsenal spent an extended period of time at the top of the table last year.  There is a shiny new trophy in the cabinet.  And the last two summers have seen the arrival of two of the most exciting attacking players in world football: Mesut Ozil and Cesc Fabregas Alexis Sanchez.

Even without the arrival of a defensive midfielder and greater defensive cover following the departure of Thomas Vermaelen (two subjects that deserve, and have received, gallons of ink already), I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that Arsenal fans felt their team would be truly competitive this season.  Ozil and Sanchez would be the missing variables to get our once-exciting offense back on track.  Welbeck could be the finisher that we've missed since RVP.  Things would CLICK.  Maybe we would ultimately fall short in the League to the depth of Chelsea or Citeh, but we would be in the fight to the end!  We would be outside challengers for the Champions League!  We would put up a staunch defense of the FA Cup!  Some of us even exchanged texts about the treble being in play.  (Full disclosure: some of us are silly.)

As of this moment, Arsenal sit sixth in the table, and they will probably be lower than that by the time the weekend is over.  Chelsea are in the lead with twice (twice!) as many points.  Ozil is injured.  Koscielny is injured. Giroud is injured.  Debuchy is injured.  Wilshere is (almost certainly) injured.  Rosicky and Ramsey have struggled with injuries at various points already.  Walcott has not yet returned.  This is all very bad luck (or something worse and systemic), but Arsenal have still put out sides that, on paper, ought to be have won against opponents like Hull, Tottenham, Leicester, and Everton.  These games have all been draws, some, like today, by the skin of their teeth.  We have looked very, very mediocre.

This team is not great.  It is not even very good.  I don't think it's just the injuries, either.  Something is not right.  There is a faint whiff of rottenness at the core.  The hope provided by that FA Cup victory is long gone.  The lack of good defensive depth and cover has been incredibly obvious.  And the resignation is setting in that this will be yet another season where we exit the Champions League at the round of sixteen.  A season where the FA Cup holds the slim possibility of another trophy and, more likely, the threat of embarrassing ourselves against lower league opposition.  A season where the league is far beyond us by Christmas (or, um, today) and we will struggle for the Top 4 Trophy and the lifeblood of Champions League football.

(Still gonna watch, though.)

We Forgot Our Own Birthday

Notable Footy Things That Have Happened Since We Last Updated the Blowg:

1. Arsenal sold their best player and another of their most promising players, became terrible, and were humiliated by United at Old Trafford.

2. Uruguay won the Copa America and retained their position as South America's best team.

3. The United States lost the Women's World Cup in a heartbreaker to Japan. Becky Sauerbrunn, friend of the blowg, made her World Cup debut in the semifinal match against France and was outstanding.

3. Liverpool bought some really promising young British players and looked like they might be getting somewhere.

4. Manchester City started the season on fire and beat the crap out of their frightened neighbors.

5. Juventus somehow built one of Europe's scariest teams under the radar by acquiring Marko Vucinic (a Jim favorite), Fabio Quagliarella, Andrea Pirlo (a Juan favorite), Alessandro Matri, Simone Pepe, Arturo Vidal, and Marco Boriello. Vucinic, Boriello, and Matri joined del Piero, Iaquinta, Luca Toni, and Amauri as striking options (OK, that is just ridiculous). A death struggle quickly ensued between Juve and Milan.

6. Tottenham started the season terribly and then just as suddenly became London's best team. Ew.

7. Chelsea in crisis.

8. Arsene Wenger brought in an enormous German, a handsome Spaniard, and a tricksy Israeli to right the good ship Arsenal. Amazingly, it worked. But mostly because Robin van Persie hoisted the entire team onto his broad shoulders like a Dutch Superman with a son named Shaquille.

9. Things happened in the Bundesliga and Ligue 1.

10. Things also happened in La Liga. Mostly things involving Barca and Madrid: Cesc suddenly discovering that his head game is outrageous in Spain, Pepe behaving so poorly that it drew criticism from choirboy Wayne Rooney, and lots of diving.

11. Manchester City and Manchester United both failed to qualify for the knockout stages of the Champions League and had to settle for the Europa League. No, there is nothing more embarrassing than that.

12. (Alleged) Racism.

13. Paul Scholes and Thierry Henry (swoon) returned for Man U and Arsenal, respectively, thus confusing fans of both teams into thinking it was 2002. Millions wrote their MPs in the hopes of preventing a war in Iraq.

14. Henry scored the winner on his re-debut for Arsenal. Millions peed in their pants just a little bit.

15. Liverpool became terrible again, thanks in part to (alleged) racism.

16. Arsenal became terrible again, thanks in part to injuries and just general crapness.

17. Jim passed the NY Bar Exam and started work in Arkansas. Juan moved to Colorado and started medical school.

18. The Legend of Carl Awesome celebrated its fourth birthday on January 15, 2012. Which is like 21 in blowg years.

19. I promised on several occasions to definitely update the blog every time Juan or Adam Large texted me something hilarious about footy. I never did.

20. Anything connected to Mario Balotelli.

But fear not, we'll be bringing you our canny thoughts and priceless insights on a more regular basis. Starting with our first ever live-tweeting of Arsenal vs. Manchester United, which can be enjoyed here: https://twitter.com/#!/jimedstan

Univision and Brasil's Swagger

"Ok, I have another theory for why Venezuela is wearing red wine," explained the Univision announcer. This was the 10th time the booth mentioned the color choice on the Venezuelan national team and Pablo Ramirez, the leader of the crew, wasn't finished bouncing ideas off his colleagues. "If you mix the colors of the Venezuelan flag together, you get red wine." His partners were incredulous, and so was I, but for entirely different reasons.

Brasil is back; it's about time. With Argentina rebuilding, and Uruguay still one bad loss from their usual existential crisis, those yellow bastards look terrifying, again. Maybe it was the five, yes, that's correct, five consecutive give-and-go's between Neymar and Andre Santos. Or perhaps it was Pato's effortless settle in the box, from a ball kicked 50 yards away, over his shoulder, with a defender painted on him, while he was at full speed. Maybe it's that Robinho looks really comfortable. I don't want to alarm anyone, but he's being used in the correct role now as well.

"There's going to be a big problem if Venezuela try to match Brasil's pimperies," said Pablo's colleague. Learning how to successfully use "pimperies" in a sentence is something that Univision can't take away from me now, but moreover, he was right.

Brasil, especially in South America, compels teams to try and play like them. It's one of the intangibles of joga bonito; teams disastrously try to match it. This was not the case when Dunga had them playing a 4-5-1. A four-five-one people, and no, that's not four forwards and one sweeper. Now they seem to be playing a 4-3-3, and it's a good thing I have to use the word seem.

But there's still one problem. His name is Lucas Leiva. It's not his fault, I guess, it's more that Brasil has nobody else to play his role. That is to say, Lucas Leiva is the best pass-first defensive midfielder they've got. If Brasil had, I don't know, Xabi Alonso on one leg and no arms, they'd win every game by 8 goals.

They may not win the Copa America. They may not even beat Venezuela right now - it's still 0-0 in the 60th minute - but they're not playing for this tournament. The Copa America, unless you have $70 on Uruguay to win at 11-1, is a mostly useless tournament. Brasil is preparing for 2014, and by the look of things, they'll be fine.

OK, more than fine.

Charlie Good Update

It's about a two hour drive to Querétaro from Mexico City. Instead of renting a car, you could always spend a few more bucks and fly there directly. Querétaro is the perfect place to run away.

It's not as difficult as you might think, running away. And there's plenty to do once you get there. Once you stop thinking about what you're leaving behind, and instead start thinking about what's waiting for you, you're ready.

I know why I would go - the white roosters. Well, that's not entirely true, it's actually one man: Charles Nice. When Carlos Bueno scores, you can't help but smile. His dances make you feel like a kid again, and that's no coincidence. He celebrates the same way his 8-year-old son does, whenever his son scores a goal in little league. And when Carlos Cozy shows you his magic, he evokes a roar from the crowd that kids dream about.

If I had only seven and a half minutes to convince you that you'd love Mexican league soccer, I'd show you this video.

And if you watched it all, well, then, I'll see you there. I hope you like Corona.

Huh?

What's that you say? The season is over? Oh, well I thought it had only just begun. You see, I can only remember three Arsenal games all season.

Here's one. I happened to be there.

Here's the other.

And this is the last one.

man10ram56 by arsenalist

As far as I'm concerned, nothing else happened. That's why I'm so confused by people who say that Arsene should blow up the team. The guys who played in these games looked great.

Apparently, there's a big game tomorrow. I'm sure that either Juan or I will be happy to fill you in on proceedings.

"Ohhh Yes! This Guy Is Classy."

Exclaims Bill Leslie of Sky Sports 1.


Also, to the person with a Uruguay flag at Craven Cottage - well played sir. You've made Luis and me very happy.

It's Beautiful On the Other Side/A Disturbance in the Force

Two quick points:

1) Once you've successfully abandoned all expectation for your team, it's actually kind of nice to watch a game like yesterday's match between Arsenal and Spurs. Both teams played fantastic attacking football, defense optional, and all in all, it was probably a fair result. I think Arsenal were slightly better on the day (when will Tom Huddlestone, of all people, score a goal like that again? - the answer is surely never), but it's hard to begrudge Spurs the draw, especially when Kenny Chesney had to make a series of excellent saves to keep it 3-3.

Basically, I was expecting to surrender the 3-1 lead. (And frankly, I was expecting William Gallas to head in the winner once the game was tied.) I refused to get sucked in by Manchester United's draw against Newcastle. We should all know that the league is lost, the season is over. So I'm OK with the result, and I'm able to see the dark, absurd humor in supporting a team for which no lead is EVER safe. When one's team is up 3-1 and playing well, that supporter should entertain in the back of his mind that a draw or loss is possible. He should NOT, however, fear that outcome. And he definitely should not anticipate that outcome or, as in my case, perceive it as a foregone conclusion. But that's how it is with Arsenal these days. And once you've gone that far, it's weirdly beautiful on the other side. [Note: As I was writing this, I began listening to the Footballistically Arsenal podcast from Tuesday. From his remarks, you can tell that Tom Rosenthal reached the other side during the Liverpool match, and I'm happy to join him there. He notes in the podcast that Arsenal have become a parody of themselves. He's taking sick pleasure in the sheer absurdity of the team - it's almost a perfect summary of how I felt going into the Spurs match.]













2. Is this the beginning of the end for Barca's GOAT claims? Have the Patriots found a way to stop the Greatest Show on Turf? Honestly, I was stunned at the momentum shift I perceived after Madrid won. I was expecting Barca to look unhappy, but not perturbed. Instead, the TV captured Messi looking really upset, Guardiola looking concerned, and the rest of the team looking generally devastated. Madrid, of course, were going nuts. I'm not sure we can underestimate just how big a statement was made in this game. There has been a disturbance in the force. And if I could feel it here, I'm sure Juan heard cries of anguish for miles.

Other Thoughts: Ronaldo's header was fantastic, and for the first time ever, he definitely outplayed Messi. He was the most dangerous man on the field for all 120 minutes. I had flashbacks to watching him run at English defenders in the Premier League. It's still terrifying how fast he is and just how good he is in the air. It was also perversely satisfying to hear the commentators accusing Barca of all the things they say about Arsenal: "not enough height," "no Plan B," "not enough urgency," "wasteful in front of goal," etc. I would also like to note that Arsenal (even a more talented Arsenal from 2004-2006) always had a great deal of trouble with Mourinho's Chelsea teams. He is a master at exposing those kind of flaws. Very, very interesting times ahead.

Also, I can't believe Sergio Ramos dropped the Copa del Rey under a bus. That's really all there is to say about that.