While You Were You Sleeping

It's 11:22 standard eastern time and you have no idea what just happened.

Around... oh lets say 36 minutes ago? Is that right? My publicist is telling me that's correct. Great. Just that long ago a man named David Beckham did the unthinkable. That's not true. It actually may be just the opposite of that.

David Beckham scored his first MLS goal of the season and it couldn't have been more appropriate. Having received an awkwardly weighted through-ball from Landon Donovan, Mr. Beckham had two choices. He could either slide it across to Dono to finish what he started, or he could score himself.

He chose correctly. David - cool as the other side of the pillow - tucked it (one time) in betwixt the keeper's legs and in the back of the net. What follows from here is simply inappropriate:

He runs, arms out, a few paces and gives me my favorite celebration sans the David Trezeguet. The slide was on turf, knees first, perfectly balanced on both legs until he comes to a stop and is mauled by his teammates.

In an eerily exacting way, Beckham's slide halts a touch short, forever symbolic of the MLS perhaps, or maybe because he was on turf and not grass. Regardless, what his goal represented is that the MLS begs to differ. At an overdressed dinner party the MLS shows up in a t-shirt with a picture of a tuxedo and tells the honored guest, "No. Fuck you." And who could wear that t-shirt but Beckham-watch himself.

It's difficult to say that I don't believe in the hype when something so trivial as him scoring stimulates me to go berserk. I'll let my emotions state the facts - I love that David Beckham is in the MLS and if one man can give me hope, it's him.

Thank you and goodnight.

(P.S. - he also had an assist to Dono. Whatev.)